The Hunt for the Perfect Man
by CharmedReality
Summary: It seems a computer dating service is Kagome's last chance to find true love, but after multiple disastrous first dates her taunting neighbor, Inuyasha, might have been right after all. AU. Ultimately Kag x Inu. Coauthor BelleDayNight
1. The Setup

The Hunt for the Perfect Man: Chapter 1 - The Set-up

Disclaimer: We didn't create the characters. We just put them in compromising situations for our amusement.

Authors' Note: What happens when you cross all the crazy that is **BelleDayNight** with all the insane of **CharmedReality** (a.k.a. **HauntedReality**)? A story that is full of fun, romance, and whimsy, of course. Please enjoy and review! (CR)

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Kagome's dark hair swayed sharply back and forth as she stomped up the stairs to her one-bedroom apartment. Her clothes were covered in mud, and she angrily flicked a twig from her once beautiful blue skirt.

She knew the night wasn't going to be good by any stretch of the imagination, but nothing could have prepared her for what actually happened on her arranged blind date.

She didn't want to think about that now. All she wanted to do was slip into a warm bath and forget about everything that happened. Actually, she also wanted to call her grandfather and yell at him for his poor taste in dates, but that seemed a little too disrespectful. However, she made a mental note to remember this day when it came time to choose his birthday gift.

Pulling her keys out of her soiled pocket, she fumbled with the lock. "Come on, I'm not in the mood for this right now," she tried reasoning with the key as it refused to grant her access to the bath that was calling her name.

She had unlocked the door to her apartment a hundred times, so of course, it would choose this day to give her problems. Metal jangled loudly as she tried to shove the keys into the stubborn lock. In her frustration, the ring of keys slipped from her cold fingers and fell to the ground while she simultaneously managed to jam her finger against the hard wood of the door.

"Owwww! Darn you!" she scolded the obstinate lock. In pain, she kicked the fallen keys so that they skidded across the porch only to stop in front of her neighbor's door which was now hanging open.

"Rough night?" asked a very amused man with long black hair and luminous amber eyes and a toothbrush unceremoniously sticking half way out of his mouth. He leaned down to claim the discarded ring of keys and swirled them around his pointer finger while leaning back against his door frame in a dramatic pose.

Kagome glared at her annoying neighbor, too tired to even come up with a witty retort. Inuyasha pushed himself from his casual position on his side of the porch and calmly swept past her to open the door for the flustered woman.

He then tossed the keys back at her and proceeded to enter the apartment as if he owned the place. He continued to brush his teeth as he made his way towards the stainless steel sink in the pale yellow kitchen.

Kagome groaned when he spit out his toothpaste into the sink. He looked up at her, wiping his mouth with the cuff of his sleeve while casting her a smirk and leaning against her counter. "Want to talk about it?" He asked, giving her and the muddy ensemble the once over.

"Not especially," Kagome answered, following him into the small corner of her apartment commonly referred to as a kitchen. His body blocked the sink, and he made no move to rectify that situation, so she leaned around him to turn on the facet and wash his spit down the drain.

Inuyasha frowned at the mud stain on his white t-shirt. "I think you owe me an explanation for why there is now mud all over my shirt."

In frustration, Kagome blew the bangs out of her eyes and leaned on the counter opposite of her nosy neighbor. "If you must know," she began.

"Indeed, I must," Inuyasha interrupted.

"If you must know, I just returned from a blind date," she answered, ignoring his comment.

"Obviously, that explains why you fell into the mud hole. Next time you should try walking with your eyes open," Inuyasha suggested, twirling his toothbrush in his fingers idly.

"You are really going to make me tell you the story while I'm still covered in mud?" she asked incredulously.

Flopping himself comfortably onto a nearby plush chair, he smiled up at her suggestively. "No, you can take your clothes off if you want, but what would the neighbors say?"

Kagome picked up a decorative pillow and sent it flying at his grinning face. He easily blocked the assault, but she felt somewhat better anyway. "You really are incorrigible, you know that?"

"If that means charming with a winning personality, I couldn't agree more. Now back to your mud wrestling blind date story," he encouraged smugly.

Sighing loudly to make her aggravation abundantly clear, she grabbed a large towel from the hall closet and threw it over an opposing chair where she sank down defeated. "Last week, my grandfather decided I was becoming a spinster, and if I wasn't going to do anything about it, then he would."

Inuyasha opened his mouth, but received another face full of pillow. "Not a word," she commanded as her eyebrow twitched slightly.

"Anyway, he told me he knew this wonderful man who was very level-headed and responsible and wealthy and devote. Not wanting to upset dear old grandfather, I said it sounded like...fun."

"I take it that wasn't the case?" Inuyasha interjected as he continued absently balancing and spinning his green toothbrush between nimble fingers.

"You could say that. He picks me up in this old, beat-up truck that looks like it had actually been through a war zone of some kind. He had to open the door for me from the inside because there was no handle on the outside. Then once I was inside the deathtrap, I discovered there were no seatbelts. There was also no radio, but that was okay because there was a rusted out hole in the floor you could watch the road through if you got bored."

"Sounds like a dream date so far," he replied sarcastically.

"It gets better. As old as the truck was, it didn't begin to compare to my date. The man was actually balding!" she covered her head with her hands for emphasis. "When Grandfather said he was an old friend, I didn't think he meant it literally!"

Inuyasha snorted, and buried his nose in the convenient pillow to prevent it from being too obvious. After he gained control of his mirth, he gave her his most somber expression. "Did you fall out of the hole and get covered in mud?"

"No," Kagome snapped, inspected her mud encrusted clothing. Abruptly, she stood up. "Look, I'm taking a bath. If you refuse to leave, we can continue this horror story through the bathroom door."

Inuyasha stood and made his way to the bathroom. "No need to close the door," he gave her a bored look. "You don't have anything I want to see anyway."

Kagome picked up her discarded towel and tossed it at his head before marching into her bedroom to grab her robe. Inuyasha made to follow her into the bathroom only to have the door slammed in his face. He snapped his fingers, "Shucks," he called loud enough to make his neighbor grin despite herself.

He slid down the door and leaned his back against it, legs crossed Indian-style. "So, how are you covered in mud?" He called out when he heard the water start to run. "Apparently, you and the old geezer didn't do any mud wrestling. I imagine his arthritis killed that activity."

He heard a heavy object, probably a shoe, slam against the door behind his head. "So, this Totosai took me to this religious revival in the middle of nowhere. I mean, it was in a tent, and the ground was dirt."

Inuyasha listened as she splashed into the tub and he continued to twirl his toothbrush. "And then what?" He encouraged when she remained silent for a while.

"And then he decided that my soul needed saving, and the only way to prove I was worthy of forgiveness was to withstand the venom of a poisonous snake from the corral reef off of Australia." Inuyasha actually dropped the toothbrush in surprise but was glad she wasn't in a position to notice. Kagome continued to scrub, enjoying the feel of the hot water and the bubbly soap.

"So, the mud comes from where?"

"I sort of tipped over the aquarium the snake was being retained within, and the water turned the dirt floor into a mass of mud. The old man said I wasn't redeemable and brought me back here. And that's it; end of story." Kagome realized a shower would have been a better idea now that the water was the color of English tea. Hurriedly, she climbed out and wrapped herself in her terry cloth robe.

She pulled open the door, sending Inuyasha unexpectedly falling backwards and providing him with an unladylike view under her robe. "Pervert!" Kagome shrieked, jumping away from him and crouching on the closed toilet.

Grabbing anything and everything within reach, she pelted him with toiletries like toothpaste, soap, and toilet paper. But when she snatched up a very large, very heavy looking hair dryer he knew it was time to make his exit.

"Hey, good seeing you. I think I'll turn in for the night," he called out as he dodged another wave of objects while shuffling quickly toward the door. "Let me know if you need me to set you up with any of my grandpa's friends," he said in parting as he shut the front door just in time to save himself from a bottle of herbal essences' shampoo that was now streaking down the wood in a sweet smelling, pink-hued, sticky mess.

"Jerk," she said under her breath once she was alone again.

She had been living next to Inuyasha for the past two years, and their relationship had always been very much like this: witty remarks punctuated by thrown objects. It was actually a nice breather to her hectic, overly structured college lifestyle. Still, maybe her grandfather was right. Maybe she should have a boyfriend. It would certainly keep her family off her back for awhile. She loved them, but their constant nagging concern for her love life was more than she wanted to deal with.

Accessing the damage she had done to her place, she decided all cleaning could wait till morning, so instead, she chose to get online for a little while before heading to bed. Towel drying her hair, she pulled up her e-mail account to see if there was anything new or interesting.

There turned out to be plenty of new messages, but few of them seemed very interesting. Her brother, Souta, sent her several forwards which she deleted without a second thought. Her mother sent her a short message asking how her date had gone. Kagome considered replying, but decided it should wait until she had a chance to cool off, or she was likely to say something Inuyasha-ian to her.

Just as she was about to close the window, a junk mail subject line caught her attention, "On the hunt for the perfect man?"

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

**A/N: **This has been a tag-team performance brought to you by **CharmedReality** and **BelleDayNight**. And personally, I'm still holding my side from laughing so hard! (BDN)

Check out **BelleDayNight**'s other fictions at http/ www. fanfiction. net/u/ 453559/ (remove spaces)


	2. Kouga

The Hunt for the Perfect Man: Chapter 2 - Kouga

This is a tag-team performance brought to you by **CharmedReality** and **BelleDayNight**.

Disclaimer: We didn't create the characters. We just put them in compromising situations for our amusement.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Kagome pulled her hair back in a ponytail high on her head and brushed the leg of her khaki shorts to smooth a stubborn wrinkle. She looked at herself once more in the mirror with a critical eye. The pale blue tank top looked good on her and showed her well-toned muscles.

She smiled to herself. "He'll probably compliment me on my muscle tone," she muttered. It would be the perfect excuse to bring up her archery which was excellent first date material. Her luck couldn't be better!

The dating company found her perfect match in only two days time. He was a tall, dark-haired with blue eyes, and an athlete, a runner more specifically. He volunteered at an animal shelter and as a firefighter while working often as an emergency medical technician. The man was obviously busy saving lives on a daily basis; no wonder he signed up for the online dating service with so little free time.

There was a knock at her front door. She hurried to answer it. "Be right there!" Kagome quickly put on some lipstick before running to the door and opening it with a bright smile. The sight before her didn't disappoint.

"Kagome?" The tall, handsome stranger extended his hand with a warm, boyish grin that lit up his bright blue eyes.

"You must be Kouga," Kagome returned taking his hand in what she assumed would be a handshake. Her date surprised her and clasped her hand in between both of his, his smile spreading even wider.

"You are a most beautiful woman, I cannot believe my luck in having found someone of your radiance on the first try with this dating service," Kouga admitted, releasing Kagome's hand reluctantly so she could gather her purse. He remained in the doorframe, holding the door open for her, careful not to invade her privacy. "Ready?"

"Yes, I haven't been to the zoo since I was a child," Kagome admitted as she walked out the door with her date before locking it.

"That is such a shame. It has always been one of my favorite places to spend excess free time," he said casually as he fell into step behind her, lightly resting his hand at the small of her back.

Kagome stiffened slightly at the touch but relaxed immediately. She figured if a hot guy who was quick to flatter wanted to show a little affection then she wasn't going to stop him. "Then you probably don't go that often either."

"Why is that?" he questioned with a warm smile.

"After reading your profile it seems like all your free time must be filled to overflowing from saving the planet."

"Did I type Superman under the employment section again? I am always doing that," he quipped while flashing a winning smile that almost sparkled with perfection.

They had almost crossed the distance to Kouga's forest green jeep when a noisy, red sports car slid diagonally into a perpendicular parking space, and a familiar figure stepped out. Kagome groaned softly and quickened her pace to the passenger's side door, but it was too late.

"Hey, Kagome!" her neighbor, Inuyasha, called out in an insincerely sweet voice.

"A friend of yours?" Kouga asked, dipping close to her ear.

"Some of the time," she whispered back with a hint of annoyance.

"Aren't you going to introduce your best friend to your new friend?" the dark-haired man with shining, amber eyes asked with a fake wounded inflection in his voice.

Kagome's brow twitched slightly before replying. "Kouga, this is my _neighbor_ Inuyasha." She made sure to put extra emphasis on the word neighbor so as not to confirm his earlier assertion that they were best friends.

Although with all of the time she spent studying and working at her part-time job as a waitress she had lost touch with most of her high school friends. In some ways he probably was right. But she had no intention of letting him know that. Besides, that was one of the reasons for trying the dating service out in the first place. She needed to meet new people, and even if she didn't make a love connection she might find a friend.

"And Inuyasha, this is my date," she finished in a tone that clearly said he should take his leave of absence immediately.

He apparently did not notice. "Wow, you've sure been going on a lot of those lately," he replied trying to sound innocent.

Kagome was about to respond hotly when Kouga's hand tightened around hers, and he moved slightly in front of her to face the flippant, young man. "It was nice to meet a friend of Kagome's, but my date and I have to be leaving now."

To say she was in love with her date might not have been premature. He just saved her from a humiliating experience with her boisterous neighbor. Besides, the look of anger that flashed in Inuyasha's normally calm, golden eyes was priceless.

Kouga opened the door for Kagome and then walked around the front of the jeep to reach his own. He turned to look over his shoulder, noting that Inuyasha stood sentinel with his arms crossed over his chest and glaring at him. "Don't worry, Dog-boy. I'll bring the lovely woman back home later, so you can fetch her slippers." He then slammed shut his door and pulled out of the parking lot before Inuyasha could come up with a snappy retort.

**oOoOo**

Kouga tossed the fish far into the water, watching as the dolphins jumped to catch it. Kagome laughed at the sight, feeling as if her cheeks were going to be permanently positioned in a smile. She couldn't remember having a better time. She felt like a little kid, and it was a great, carefree feeling!

"Your turn," Kouga offered Kagome another fish, elbowing her gently in the ribs. Reluctantly, Kagome picked up the fish. It was rather scaly, and the smell seemed stronger when she held it than when Kouga was holding it.

"Maybe you should. You seem to be good at it," Kagome tried to offer the fish back to Kouga, but he evaded her attempts. He moved behind her and placed his arms loosely around her waist, resting his chin on top of her head.

"My hands seem to be full. Looks like you'll have to do it," Kouga teased. Kagome couldn't help but laugh. Normally if a man was being so forward, she would have slapped him by now, but somehow, Kouga had this harmless aspect about him.

"Very well, but if the dolphins can't get their fish it's all your fault," Kagome warned. She tossed the fish in underhanded, because any other movement was restrained by Kouga's warm body. The fish didn't go very far, so the dolphin swam close to the deck and made a large splash, soaking the couple.

Kagome groaned while Kouga laughed. "You look great," he complimented, kissing her quickly on the neck before pulling away and ringing out his t-shirt. Kagome was so distracted by her now plastered-to-her-body, muscle shirt that she hardly noticed the affectionate move.

She glanced over at her date, noticing that he was even more well-built than she thought earlier now that his muscles were defined by his waterlogged shirt. "Where to now?" Kagome asked, trying to ignore the blush that wanted to color her cheeks.

Kouga shrugged, closing the distance between them and taking her hand within his once more in the opposite direction from the dolphin's pool. "You decide," he offered.

"How about the wolves?"

Kouga cringed. "What about the bears? I don't really care much for wolves."

"Really? Is there any reason?" she asked with a small measure of concern. Her first thought was that he had a relative attacked by a wolf, but that hardly seemed likely.

He shrugged casually, "No, they're just kind of mangy. If you really want to see them, then I will be your faithful guide." He stretched out his hand for her to accept. Giggling lightly, she took him up on his offer. As they walked, Kagome noticed that her damp sandals were making an embarrassing squishing sound.

Not wanting to be remembered as the girl with squeaking feet to her date, she thought quickly. "Actually, why don't we stop at that food stand and have some lunch first?"

"I think you read my mind," he said as he led her to the flashy blue and yellow stand that advertised lemon shake-ups, funnel cakes, corn dogs, and other treasures usually only found at street fairs.

A thousand calories and some good conversation later, they were both still sitting at a nearby picnic table. Their clothes had managed to dry, but neither was in any hurry to break the moment.

"So you won an archery contest?" he asked with great interest.

"Don't sound so surprised," she retorted in mock offense.

"No, not surprised--impressed. How long have you been taking lessons?"

"Since I was eight actually. My grandfather runs an antique shop downtown, and he is always researching old pieces and stumbling across ancient legends. I guess it kind of got to him after a while, and he started thinking we were going to be attacked by demons at any moment. Then he decided we all needed to learn some kind of self-defense."

"So, when you walk to your car late at night you usually have a bow and quiver of arrows with you?" he asked in the jokingly charming way she had already grown so fond of.

Kagome laughed deeply. "I know. It's ridiculous, but I grew up reading comic books, and I always loved Green Arrow. Somehow, I managed to talk Grandfather into it.

"Do you mean to tell me I was matched up to a woman who makes top grades, arches, _and_ loves comic books? Now I know I'm in love," his brilliant blue eyes looked meaningfully into her deep azure ones, making her blush prettily.

She nervously fidgeted with her empty styrofoam cup, wedging a simple design into it with the edge of her fingernail. Wanting to fill the silence but unsure what to say, she rambled on with the first thing that popped into her mind about their previous conversation.

"My brother, Souta, took a martial arts class instead. It wasn't just a karate program like most people think. It provided courses for hand-to-hand combat and weapons training. Actually, his instructor was that rude guy you met before. That is how I found the apartment I have now..."

Kagome was sure she would have continued speaking indefinitely just to avoid reconnecting eye contact, but Kouga seemed to sense that, and he cut her off by gently scooping her hands into his again.

She looked up at him and felt the same intense look from before, worming its way into her as if he was looking to her very soul. "I don't want to talk about Inuyasha," he said in a rich, smooth voice.

"What do you want to talk about..." but he silenced her by leaning across the table and pressing his lips to hers for a brief moment. Only a second or two passed before their lips parted, but to Kagome it was a heart-stopping eternity.

She opened her mouth, but no words came forth. Kouga smiled in his boyish manner and rose to his feet while offering her his hand to help her stand. "Let's go look at those mangy wolves now," he held her hand once more within his own. "I promise I won't do anything too rakish," he whispered before bursting out into a wolf howl.

Kagome shoved him in the side. "Behave," she scolded lightly.

"Anything for my woman," Kouga agreed. Kagome couldn't help but roll her eyes at that comment. He really was too amusing.

Neither of the content couple noticed another individual loitering at their abandoned table, examining the trash they recently discarded and glaring off in their direction. The lurker gritted her teeth when she noticed that the food was paid on the same tab. The proof was there. Kouga was indeed on a date.

"Aren't they adorable?" Kagome asked, gesturing towards a pair of wolf cubs wrestling with one another in the wolf center.

Kouga snorted, "Yeah, I suppose, but I bet they smell." He leaned closer to the glass partition. "I mean, don't you know what it is they are rolling in? That's just disgusting!" He waved his hand emphatically.

Kagome's nose scrunched when she realized what the wolf cubs were rolling in. "That is pretty gross," she agreed, no longing finding the cubs so cute now that she realized they were rolling around in waste products.

Kouga grabbed hold of Kagome's wrist and pulled her away from the wolves. "It's time for the bears." He looked down at his watch. "It should be a good time. They will be eating soon, so they should be pretty restless."

The bear area was perhaps one hundred paces from the wolves. There was a family with two young children not enjoying the view. Kagome and Kouga joined them to watch the bears as they grew restless in their hunger and tried to ignore the negative vibes from the family.

"You never let me do anything!" The little boy shouted, pounding his feet hard on the sidewalk while accusing his parents.

The young mother and father looked exasperated. The mother was near tears, and the father looked as if he wanted to take the boy over his knee any moment. Neither were paying attention to their young daughter who was climbing the protective fence.

"Where's Cynthia?" The mother asked after the father whispered something in the boy's ear that immediately silenced him. Her husband looked around, and his face went pale.

"My God," he exclaimed with fear evident in his once booming voice.

His whispered response drew Kouga and Kagome's attention. Kagome gasped, raising her hand to her lips at the sight. Kouga's eyes narrowed as he gauged the severity of the situation. The young child had climbed over the fence and was now halfway down the trench that separated the visitors from the bears.

"Cynthia!" The mother shouted, leaning over the fence. "Baby, come back up to us!"

The father looked like he was about to climb over the fence to save his daughter.

The young girl looked up, confusion evident on her innocent features. "I can't climb that high," she argued, scratching her neck at an irritating bug bite.

Kouga noticed that the bears had now observed the little girl in their territory. The previously entertaining grizzlies were now a hungry danger as they loomed over the edges of the man-made valley that separated them from the young girl.

He grabbed hold of the father's belt to stay his attempt to play hero. "Sir, I'll get your little girl for you. I'm a professional." He turned to Kagome and handed her his wallet and his watch. "I'll be back," he smiled at her and kissed her cheek. "Don't miss me too hard."

**oOoOo**

"I still can't believe you did that!" she exclaimed for the fifteenth time since leaving the zoo after the media and fan fair surrounding his heroic rescue died down.

"Yes, I've been getting that impression from you. It must be coming through this close bond we've formed today," he said in his most charming voice while sliding one arm around her thin waist and escorting her up the stairs to the landing in front of her apartment door.

"And you aren't the least bit phased by the fact that you saved a little girl and fought off a hungry bear today?"

"You are the one who claimed I was always saving the world earlier. Why are you so surprised now?"

Reaching for his free hand, she slipped her fingers between his and squeezed. "Not surprised--impressed," she repeated his earlier words back to him.

"Why, Ms. Higurashi, are you flirting with me?" he tilted his head downward to get a full view of her face beaming up at him.

"Perhaps," she responded coyly.

Tightening his grip on her waist he pulled her close and brushed his lips against hers lightly at first. When she gave his hand another squeeze of encouragement, he deepened the kiss. Kagome felt her head swim. She logically knew things were already moving too fast, but there was something really special about the man who was giving her the most wonderful kiss of her young life--not that there were many for comparison.

Finally pulling away, Kagome blushed slightly as he stared adoringly at her with those effervescent blue eyes. Eagerly clasping both of her hands, Kouga dropped to one knee. "Kagome, will you marry me?"

Before the shocked girl could form a coherent thought, let alone a word, Kouga was being shoved to the ground.

"Cheater! How dare you go on a date with her? How dare you propose to her!" an auburn-haired girl with large, emerald eyes shouted at him with clenched fists shaking at her sides.

"Ayame!" he called out in surprise.

"Who are you?" Kagome asked in confusion to the furious girl.

"I'm his fiancée!" she said defensively while stomping her foot against the wooden floorboards.

"WHAT?" Kagome shouted, staring at the embarrassed young man who looked as if he were trying to sink into the floor. "You're engaged?" she demanded of Kouga, turning to him and expecting answers.

Kouga began to massage his temples with his thumb and middle finger; the tension headache that suddenly developed pounded against his skull. "It's not what you think," he began.

"Can you keep it down? Some people do sleep at night," Inuyasha greeted, opening his front door and moving his gaze from one person to another. He settled his attention on Kouga, anticipating a good show.

"So, what is it then?" Kagome asked, her voice quiet as her disappointment in her date became obvious.

Kouga rushed to her side and took her hands within his own once more, "Kagome, it is true, Ayame was my fiancée, but you are the woman I was meant to be with." He gestured towards Inuyasha. "He can marry her, and you can come and live with me, and everyone will be content." He gave her a heart-stopping smile.

"I don't think that's going to work, pal," Inuyasha disagreed, casting Ayame a wary look. That was one crazy red-head. He looked over towards Kagome and decided it would be in her best interests to steer her clear of World War III as it was about to begin.

He walked past Kouga, giving the dark-haired man an 'accidental' shove. "Oops, sorry about that," he muttered with a smirk as he took hold of Kagome's wrist and drug her towards his apartment. He glanced first at Kouga and then at Ayame. "I think it would be best if you took this elsewhere."

Inuyasha slammed his door shut and locked the deadbolt with an obvious 'click.' He then led the silent Kagome to his recliner and gave her a slight push to encourage her to sit. He sat across from her on the edge of the coffee table. He didn't say a word, just lifted one raven eyebrow at her.

"Don't say it," Kagome told him, brows furrowing in annoyance.

"Don't say what?" Inuyasha asked innocently.

"Don't say 'I told you so.' I know you want to."

"Why say the obvious?" Inuyasha retorted. He looked towards the door in the direction of the raised voices. "How long do you think it will take them to leave?"

Kagome groaned and put her elbows on her knees and buried her face in her hands. "And he was so perfect."

Inuyasha reached over and gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder. "Perhaps this online dating service isn't for you. Just give it time. You'll find the right man where you least expect him."

Kagome peaked at him through her fingers suspiciously. "That's all you're going to say?"

He stood up and walked towards the front door now that the voices had drifted away. He flipped the locks and opened the door cautiously. He then opened it wide for Kagome to leave. She took the silent hint and got up.

Inuyasha waited until Kagome unlocked her door and was about to shut it. "I told you so," he goaded as he slammed his door shut, leaving one highly frustrated woman at the other end of the hallway.


	3. Hojo

The Hunt for the Perfect Man: Chapter 3 - Hojo

This is still a tag-team performance brought to you by **HauntedReality/CharmedReality** and **BelleDayNight**.

Disclaimer: We didn't create the characters. We just put them in compromising situations for our amusement.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

It never failed to amaze her how difficult applying eyeliner could actually be. She always felt like she was one wrong move away from impaling her deep blue orbs with the dull, chocolate brown pencil.

For this reason, Kagome had developed the habit of holding her breath and remaining very still as she applied the precarious stroke. It wasn't quite meditation, but it was as close as the busy student and part-time waitress got with her hectic schedule.

So, it wasn't surprising that she didn't notice the soft click of her front door being opened or the faint footsteps that approached her bedroom where she sat in her black, lacy bra and the new, elegant skirt she purchased for her first evening at the opera.

She was so focused on readying herself for her second online computer dating service match-up that she didn't notice the uninvited guest at all until he spoke in his smooth, relaxed manner. "Do you have any extra toilet paper? I'm out."

So, she was understandably startled. "INUYASHA!"

"Hey, are you getting ready for another one of those fix-ups?" he asked as though he were totally unaware she was furious with him.

"OUT!" She punctuated her order by sending various make-up products his way.

Easily dodging her wild aim, he willingly backed out of the room with a smirk sitting on his boyishly handsome face. "I know the last date didn't go well, but I'm not sure showing up in that outfit is the answer."

"It is my bra! I was changing! But _somebody_ didn't knock before barging in." Kagome quickly added the top layer of her formal ensemble and shot the smug man leaning in her hallway a withering glance before storming over to her bathroom.

"Here," she growled as she hurled a roll of the requested toilet paper at his chest.

"When is Mr. Right getting here?"

"Not as soon as you'll be leaving," she fired back.

"I'm hurt," he said as he dramatically clutched his fist over his chest to feign heartache.

"You will be," she threatened, trying to convey more malice than she actually felt. If she were to be honest, she was happy to see her annoying neighbor even if she hadn't wanted him to see as much of her as he had. She'd been getting some pre-date butterflies in her stomach and dealing with him was erasing all that nervousness.

Before she could speak again to soften her abrasive tone, there was a steady rap against her front door. Her eyes turned sternly to the smiling man at her side. "Well, at least he knows how to knock."

Her hands unconsciously smoothed the lines of her skirt as she crossed the short distance to the entrance and opened it to reveal a mature-looking but still young man with chestnut hair and soft, grey-blue eyes.

"Kagome Higurashi, I presume?" He asked with a bright smile as she nodded her affirmation. "This is for you." He handed her a whicker basket tied up with a red, satin ribbon. Inside, was an odd assortment of fruits, vitamins, and herbal remedies to common ailments.

"Oh, well, thank you. That is very sweet...?"

"Hojo."

"It is nice to meet you, Hojo." She had to admit her date was certainly attractive, dressed in a fine, tailored suit, and already much sweeter than a certain someone she knew a little too well. Then she cringed as she realized they weren't alone.

"Topical cream, band-aids, and vitamin E?" Inuyasha mumbled absently as he scrutinized the gift she was holding. Looking at the newcomer with an arched eyebrow, he continued, "I take it flowers and chocolate are out, and first-aid kits are all the rage?"

Hojo's eyes widened in surprise at the third party but without missing a beat, he replied, "I am a doctor, and I believe in maintaining and nourishing the well-being of the body. My offering is more substantial than the empty calories and fleeting beauty of common gifts.

"But I guess you already know that," he said, nodding to the roll of toilet paper cradled in the other man's hands.

Inuyasha's brows drew together in a scowl and his snappy come-back was forgotten when his attention was drawn to Kagome. The freshly dressed young woman snorted at him in a very un-lady like fashion that resulted in Hojo grinning and offering his arm to her.

"Shall we be off? I believe the Phantom is calling for you, Christine," Hojo teased.

The toilet paper was being squeezed in the vise-like grip of Inuyasha's hand. "It must be hard to be a doctor when you keep forgetting your patients' names."

Hojo held open the door and looked back at Inuyasha with a puzzled expression. "Excuse me, I don't follow."

"Heh, that's because fools never look where they are going."

"Come on, Hojo, let's leave before we miss the opening act," Kagome prodded, wanting to hurry on with the evening and escape the snide remarks of her neighbor.

Her date, Hojo, gently patted her arm paternally. "Hold on, I'd like to know what he meant by that comment." He turned his attention back to Inuyasha who was now tossing and catching the toilet paper roll idly. "What did you mean about the forgetting of my patients' names?"

"You just called Kagome, Christine," Inuyasha explained as he caught the toilet paper roll and then moved to walk past the two in the open doorway. "Have fun, Kagome." He walked over to his door and shut it. He then watched the progress of the couple through the peephole.

Kagome scratched her head at Inuyasha's odd comment before shaking her head and locking her front door. "Do you think we should explain that you were referring to the characters in the opera we are about to watch?"

Hojo's beeper began to buzz, and he looked down distractedly before glancing back towards Kagome with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, what were you saying?" He asked after dismissing the text message.

"Never mind, let's hurry so we don't miss anything," Kagome suggested cheerfully. Her good mood only escalated when she noticed the Mercedes Benz in the parking lot that belonged to her date.

He further climbed her ladder of expectations when he opened the passenger door for her. He then reached over to buckle her in himself, leaning his trim body close to hers. He smiled sheepishly as he realized what he was doing. "Sorry, I'm used to buckling in my five-year-old niece. I often take care of her," he explained.

"Does her mother live near you?" Kagome inquired after he climbed in behind the wheel and put the car into reverse to maneuver out of the parking lot. He spun the car sharply into drive and out onto the open road in a swift, impressive move.

"My sister passed away, so now Denise lives with her father, and her grandmother often cares for her. I do what I can when I can though. She's the only family I have left," Hojo explained, glancing over at Kagome when he was at the stop sign; pain reflected in his blue-grey eyes. Kagome's heart broke for him right then and there.

The rest of the ride was driven in peaceful silence with only the music from the _Phantom of the Opera_ soundtrack playing in the background. While Hojo handed the ticket-taker their tickets at the door to the opera house his beeper went off once more. He grimaced when he read the message.

"I have to take this call, but I'll find you in the auditorium in just a few minutes." Hojo explained before patting Kagome reassuringly on the back of the hand before rushing off to use his cellular phone outside.

"Shall I show you to your seat madam?" An elderly volunteer at the opera house asked kindly. Kagome nodded absently and allowed the old man to lead her to the box seat Hojo had purchased for the night. He had aimed to rent out box 5, but apparently, it was being used for the performance and the phantom didn't want to share.

The opening act was performed to appreciative applause, and yet Kagome found herself unable to express her enthusiasm to her date, since he had yet to return to his seat. She glanced at her watch, and the pull to search for him was only quenched when he suddenly appeared with an apologetic smile upon his boyish face.

"I'm so sorry about that," Hojo apologized as he sat beside her in the box. He handed her a single red rose and a glass of champagne he purchased from the bar. "Here's a rose, I would have put a black ribbon on the stem like the phantom, but I thought you would prefer that I show up as promptly as possible."

"It's alright," Kagome told him in a soft whisper as she redirected her attention to the performance. It was rather sweet of him to bring her champagne and a rose. It just showed how considerate he was to her feelings of abandonment. Most likely he was on the phone helping to diagnose and treat a rare disease. He really was sweet to think of her feelings in the midst of such important work!

Hojo settled in his seat with a satisfied smile and took Kagome's hand in his, resting them on the arm of her chair. He gave her a reassuring squeeze as he watched the proceedings of the opera.

Christine's character had just unmasked the phantom, a very emotional and heart-wrenching scene that had tears spilling from the corners of Kagome's jewel-colored eyes. It was the most inopportune moment for one's beeper to go off.

Hojo released Kagome's hand, completely forgetting about the emotional scene before him as he focused on the message from the hospital. He sighed with relief when it was only a status report on the patient he treated earlier. "Good news," he smiled at Kagome as he settled back and focused on the show once again.

She forced an accepting smile to her lips. Normally, cell phones and pagers in public places were a major pet peeve of hers, but this was different--this was life and death. And she felt a touch guilty for feeling a little irritated by the constant interruptions.

The curtains closed for the intermission in the middle of the opera to roaring applause and cheers. Kagome looked over at Hojo, expecting to engage in the basic conversation they had been lacking for the past couple of hours. The car ride was so promising that she was looking forward to another chance to converse with the handsome gentleman.

"I am so sorry for all of this, Kagome, I'll make sure this night is one you'll never forget," Hojo promised. He leaned over the arm of the chair separating the two of them and kissed Kagome on the cheek, letting his lips linger on her soft cheek.

"You're on-call tonight, right?" Kagome asked. She couldn't remember if he had explained that he might have been on-call that evening or not. She also didn't understand why he didn't arrange for their date to be on a night he had available.

He seemed to read her mind. "I wasn't supposed to be on-call tonight, honest. I ended up having to cover for the head of surgery. The scalpel slipped this morning during a routine appendectomy. He gave himself a nasty slice and almost lost a finger. I didn't think the added stress of being on-call would be conducive to his recovery."

"That's awfully considerate of you, but I think he probably cut his finger on purpose so he could arrange for an extra night off," Kagome joked with a conspiratory twinkle in her eyes.

Hojo laughed boisterously at the suggestion and patted the back of her hand. "That's fantastic!"

Kagome was about to ask some trivial first date type questions when a commotion drew her attention. "Is there a doctor in the house!" a frazzled, young man asked, glasses askew on his nose, and hair a mess.

"I'm a doctor," Hojo called, rising in his box to peer over the side in the direction of the shouting man.

"My wife just went into labor," the young man explained, running towards the box.

Kagome looked around nervously as she noticed the bulk of the audience seemed to have turned their eyes to her date. There was a heavy din of whispering and comments as she helplessly followed Hojo on his latest rescue mission, not wanting to spend any more of her date alone.

One older lady in a gaudy purple dress was turned around fully in her seat to watch them hurry by. Kagome managed to catch her talking to her much smaller, worn-looking husband. "Oooh, look how heroic he is, Stan. Why can't you be more like that?"

Feeling a pang of pity for the diminutive husband, Kagome raised her head a bit higher while trailing behind Hojo. He was kind of heroic after all. And this date certainly was eventful even if it wasn't quite in the same way she had been hoping.

Just then, she overheard another snippet of conversation. "Handsome and a doctor! Wow! I wonder why he is with such a common-looking girl?"

Kagome clenched her fist tightly and started to look through the crowd to see where that insulting voice had come from, but she ended up walking right into Hojo's back as he stopped in front of the expectant mother.

"Ooof!" She pulled back and stood to the side awkwardly. "Sorry."

Hojo turned his head and gave her a quick smile. "Did you say something, Kagome?"

"Doctor! It hurts!" screamed out the red-faced woman, lying on the rich, crimson carpet in the aisle.

Hojo offered her soothing words and instructions as he set about to examining the situation and making her more comfortable. Kagome could still feel the crowd watching her, and she shuffled uncomfortably beneath their prying eyes. She couldn't help but feel a little out of place next to the hero of the hour.

She began thinking it might be best just to excuse herself politely when she realized Hojo was trying to get her attention. "Kagome, I need your help."

"Mine? Okay, what can I do?" Suddenly feeling needed again, Kagome rallied herself to jump in and help however she could.

"Can you look at my beeper and tell me what it says?"

Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment as she realized she had just been promoted to secretary. "Sure." Trying hard not to see anything too emotionally scarring from her vantage point, she bent down and unhooked the electronic device from his belt.

Still crouching in the most expensive outfit she owned, she read it off. "It says they need you back at the hospital tonight, because they are short-handed."

"Oh, Kagome, I'm so sorry, but it shouldn't take too long. I'll just accompany this young woman in the ambulance. I hope you will consider waiting for me, so I can take you out to dinner and make up for this."

Biting her lip lightly, she tried to decide if she should agree to his suggestion or simply cut her losses and leave. Just as she was about to respond, she was interrupted by the newborn baby making his first appearance. "Now, push!"

Kagome looked away with a queasy stomach as she saw the stranger's most private area displayed liberally in front of her. Her respect for Hojo's profession doubled as she realized just how terrible she would be as a doctor.

Then a piercing cry cut through the air, and the surrounding crowd stood and offered applause. Kagome couldn't help but smile at the humbling reaction from the opera patrons. She turned her gaze back to the baby boy and felt guilty for thinking only of herself at such a time.

Smiling widely, she decided to answer Hojo's previous question. Just as the words were ready to spill from her lips, something wet splattered across her cheek and down her new outfit that represented all of the wages and tips from a month of waitressing.

The placenta was a messy part of the birthing process that tended to be forgotten until it splattered all over you. "Actually, Hojo, I think I'm going to go home. I'm not really feeling that well," she lied just as paramedics from the recently arrived ambulance brought in a stretcher.

The spotless doctor turned his attention back to his ignored date with concern. "Oh, maybe you should ride along too for an examination."

Realizing feigning an illness with a doctor probably wasn't one of her best plans, she just shook her head. "No, I just need some rest."

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

He was not going to gloat. He would not be bringing up the fact that he was right and she was wrong. He would just pick her up and take her home.

The moment he saw her standing outside of the opera house in her once elegant dress, hair mused, and skin pale he couldn't help but laugh. Inuyasha pulled the car up next to her in the street and rolled down his window. "Need a lift?" He managed to ask once his laughter died down due to the murderous look in her eyes.

Kagome didn't say a word. She simply walked around the hood of the car, yanked open the passenger door, barely closing it in time to miss a passing vehicle careening down the street. She buckled her seatbelt and crossed her arms over her chest before staring straight out the front window.

Inuyasha cleared his throat, feeling suddenly uncomfortable as he pulled back into traffic. He reached over to turn off the volume on his stereo. Usually silence caused Kagome to talk, no matter how stubborn she was. He knew her well enough to know that this would prompt her to spill what happened without him sounding curious.

"Hojo went to the hospital," Kagome supplied, predictably breaking the silence.

"So you said on the telephone," Inuyasha answered, looking at her from the corner of his eye. She really did look like she had been through the wringer. "So how did your hair get wet?" He caved and asked.

Kagome blew out a heavy sigh and turned to look squarely at her driver--her entirely too smug of a driver. "Ever seen a woman give birth?"

Uncontrollable coughing was the answer as Inuyasha shot her a quick look before focusing back on the road. "As in a baby squeezing out of an entirely too small hole, a woman screaming bloody murder, and goo and blood flying everywhere?"

"Sounds accurate, I think you can surmise why my hair is wet and my dress is stained," Kagome answered. She reached over to turn back up the volume to the stereo.

Inuyasha didn't ask any more questions. The visuals from the short explanation were already more than he wanted to know. He parked outside of their apartments. He and Kagome got out of his car simultaneously and slammed their respective doors closed at the same time. He turned on the alarm and walked beside his frustrated neighbor.

"You did look really nice tonight," Inuyasha offered as they were standing back to back, unlocking their apartment doors.

"Gee, past tense, that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside," Kagome remarked sarcastically.

Inuyasha reached over and gently grasped Kagome's slender shoulder before she could lock herself up in her apartment for the rest of the night. She turned to him, a tired expression in her eyes. "I know it's not the same, but after you take your shower, why don't you come over, and we can watch the movie version of the _Phantom of the Opera_? I have it on DVD."

Kagome's eyes narrowed as she wondered if he was listening in the hallway earlier to her and Hojo's conversation. That hardly mattered now, and he did come to her rescue like a knight in shining armor. "I'll bring the popcorn," she agreed.

Two hours later, the movie was three-fourths finished and the two neighbors and tentative friends were sitting side by side on Inuyasha's over-stuffed couch. His ankles were crossed as his heels perched on his coffee table. Kagome sat with her legs curled up under her on the cushion beside him. Between the two of them, they were on their third bowl of extra buttered popcorn.

A loud knocking was heard in the hallway. Inuyasha continued to munch on a handful of popcorn. "Expecting company?" He asked, mouth full of buttery goodness.

Kagome shrugged, focusing on the movie and trying to ignore the incessant knocking on her apartment door across the hall. "Nothing I was expecting this evening happened, so why would now be any different?"

The knocking ended, but a voice called out. "Kagome? It's Hojo, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Kagome groaned as she shoved the bowl of popcorn into Inuyasha's chest before standing up. Inuyasha pushed the pause button on the remote and then set the bowl on the table recently warmed by his feet before following his movie night buddy.

The weary brunette opened Inuyasha's door, "I'm over here Hojo," Kagome greeted. The handsome doctor turned towards her, an apologetic look on his face. He held a plastic container of some sort in his hands that he handed to her.

"I'm so sorry about this evening. I brought you a special blend of my own recipe of chicken soup to help you regain your strength. I hope that you will allow me to make up this evening in the future," Hojo smiled brightly. The smile dimmed considerably when Inuyasha joined Kagome in the doorframe.

"I think wearing one's best dress to an opera and then being ignored by your date, covered in blood and placenta parts, and then abandoned is enough to cancel out the possibility of you getting a second chance," Inuyasha answered for Kagome.

"Inuyasha," Kagome hissed, elbowing her tall neighbor not-so-gently in the ribs. She smiled politely at Hojo. "I just don't think things will work out for us, Hojo. You're such a busy man, and I just don't believe we're right for one another at this point in life."

Hojo's smile was a little less bright this time as he reached across to squeeze her shoulder gently. "I'll be sure to look you up once I have some vacation time then."

"You do that," Inuyasha answered as he wrapped his arm around Kagome's waist to twirl her into his apartment and slam the door in the happy doctor's face. He released Kagome, sending her spinning and falling over the back of his couch.

"Hey!" Kagome cried as she righted herself and stood self-righteously on top of the couch, to glare down at Inuyasha. "You had no right to do that!"

Inuyasha didn't answer. He merely sat back down on his couch cushion, sending a vibratory wave down the couch and causing Kagome to lose her balance and fall on top of him. He shoved her to the side of him and used the remote control to resume the movie.

"Jerk," Kagome grumbled, settling back beside him with her arms crossed. Inuyasha turned to look at her and shoved a handful of popcorn in her mouth before focusing once more on the movie, trying not to laugh at the undignified sputtering of his neighbor.


	4. Miroku

The Hunt for the Perfect Man: Chapter 4 - Miroku

This is still a tag-team performance brought to you by **HauntedReality/CharmedReality** and **BelleDayNight**.

Disclaimer: We didn't create the characters. We just put them in compromising situations for our amusement.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Inuyasha answered the knock on his door with an impatient grunt from the couch. It was the final lap in the NASCAR race and, if someone expected him to get up and open the door at a time like this, obviously they didn't know him very well and had no business dropping by unexpectedly.

"Ah, Jeff Gordan wins again," a familiar voice from the past remarked from behind the dark haired man. Inuyasha turned around to stare in disbelief at his old college roommate.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He demanded rising to his feet and hopping over the back of the couch, reaching Miroku and giving him a huge bear hug. "I haven't seen you since the time we got kicked out of that bar for Aoshi's bachelor party. It's been what, two years?"

Miroku stepped back from the hug with a far away look in his eyes. "That was a great night. I don't remember what we did, but boy, it must have been worth it!" He laughed, violet eyes twinkling in good humor. He glanced around the sparse apartment. "It doesn't look you taste in furniture has changed much since then." He moved towards the couch and burst out laughing again.

Inuyasha rubbed his hand sheepishly against the back of his neck. "Yeah, I know. It's the same one we had back in our dorm room senior year." He gestured towards the large plasma screen television and stereo system. "I only splurge on the important things," he grinned widely.

"That sweet red sports car in the lot, naturally, I expect that to be yours," Miroku commented with a knowing look.

"Naturally," Inuyasha agreed. He hopped over the back of the couch to resume his previous lounging position. "You've caught me on my lazy day," he told Miroku as he flipped through the channels on his satellite television.

Miroku claimed the ratty recliner that he recognized from their old college neighbor's room. It seemed that Inuyasha took any and all free furniture with him. "Why don't you try channel five hundred and eleven?"

Golden eyes narrowed in thought. "Isn't that the porn station?" He glanced over at Miroku, and rolled his eyes. "Of course it is," he answered his own question before putting the television on the news.

"Some things never change," Miroku complained with an exaggerated yawn. He glanced down at his watch before refocusing on the television. "So, you get that job with the FBI?"

"I'm not at liberty to discuss that," Inuyasha remarked dryly.

"When they called me for a character check on you; I tried to warn them what a horribly dull person you were. You don't even watch porn or buy new furniture. To think the government wanted you to crack secret codes," Miroku continued, watching Inuyasha's face for a reaction from the reflection on the television screen.

"Don't make me kill you," Inuyasha warned. He glanced down at his watch and idly wondered when he would hear Kagome's newest dating disaster arrive. "Why are you just now visiting me?"

Miroku shrugged, "I was just in the neighborhood; thought I would drop by since I was running early for a date." Miroku grinned lecherously, "I've got a picture of her if you want to see. She's not my usual type."

"She has a brain and doesn't wear double Ds?"

"She's cute and she's smart. She's a student at the local university part-time while she works at a café full-time. I respect a woman who supports herself and is educated." The description sounded a little too familiar to Inuyasha. Miroku glanced down at his watch and decided it was close enough to his designated time. "I'll be seeing you."

"Wait!" Inuyasha yelled, blocking Miroku's exit from his front door. "Are you going on a date with Kagome Higurashi?"

Miroku grinned from ear to ear. "You must be very good at cracking those codes," he sidestepped his old best friend and walked across the hall to knock on Kagome's door. She opened it with a sweet smile that faded slightly at seeing Inuyasha standing right behind Miroku with a fighting stance.

"Inuyasha, what are you doing?" She asked, trying to decide if she was annoyed or amused at the man's overprotective posture.

"You're not going out with this womanizing playboy," Inuyasha declared. Miroku shook his head and took Kagome's hand in his with an innocent smile.

"I believe my old friend is simply jealous that I'll be the one taking a beautiful angel, such as yourself, to the carnival." He affectionately rubbed her hand within his. "I'm Miroku. Inuyasha and I were roommates back in college."

"Small world," Kagome replied politely when Miroku released her hand. He was an incredibly charming and attractive young man. It was only a slight misfortune that he was acquainted with her neighbor.

"Not small enough," Inuyasha muttered. "You're not taking her out to the carnival. I don't trust you with her as far as I could throw you."

Miroku sized him up. "I bet you could throw me pretty far." Inuyasha gave him a warning look. Miroku shrugged, "I suppose you could join us."

"The more the merrier, right?" Inuyasha answered, directing an irresistible smile towards Kagome of his own.

With a heavy sigh of defeat, Kagome held her door open for the two men. "Just let me get my phone." The two men followed her inside her front room.

Miroku glanced around; pleased with her decorating skills that made Inuyasha's look even more pathetic. Their apartments had the same floor plan, so the comparison was hard to resist. "I love what you've done with the place, Kagome."

"Thanks," Kagome smiled, feeling uncomfortable in the handsome man's presence with Inuyasha standing like a sentinel soldier, ready to attack at the slightest provocation. "I guess we should be going."

Miroku offered his arm, but before Kagome could accept it or reject it, Inuyasha cleared his throat. "Keep your hands to yourself, pervert, she can walk just fine to your car."

Through a false smile, directed towards Inuyasha, Miroku dropped his arm carelessly. "Why don't I go ahead and start the car. The two of you can meet me in the lot."

Kagome waited until Miroku was no longer in sight and then locked her front door. She then whirled around and jabbed the sharp end of her keys in Inuyasha's chest, finding satisfaction when he winced. "What is wrong with you? You're ruining my date."

Inuyasha crossed his arms both out of habit and defensively. "I know him a lot better than you do, and there is no way I'm allowing you two to be alone."

Blue eyes narrowed at him. "I'm a grown woman. I know how to take care of myself."

"Right, as has been evident when you called for my assistance after your last date," Inuyasha retorted.

"That was a cheap shot," she said forcing a hint of hostility to her voice that she didn't feel. In fact, so far none of her dates had gone the way she thought they would. Perhaps, having someone she trusted tag along wasn't such a bad idea. But since no one like that was around she decided she would settle for her nosey neighbor.

"Alright, you can come. But I don't want you breathing down our necks every minute. If I'm going to get a fair judgment of him I'll need to spend some time alone with him." Inuyasha opened his mouth to protest, but he felt another warning jab of keys against his chest. "Understood?"

"Fine," he said in a low voice as he took a step closer. His lips dipped closer to her ear and Kagome found herself sucking in a quick breath in surprise of his sudden proximity. Her heart rate spiked a bit as she could feel his hand ghosting over her arm gingerly. Before she could react to the strange situation she felt her keys being pulled out of her hand.

"Hey!" she exclaimed as the spell lifted as suddenly as it had begun.

"Don't worry," he said as he pulled back with a wry smile. "I'll give them back at the end of the date. I just don't want you poking a hole through my favorite shirt." He turned and ambled down the steps while she stared daggers into the back of his unsuspecting head.

Finally trailing along behind, Kagome wondered what she had gotten herself into while she fumingly mumbled, "If by favorite you mean that you wear it every other day and you've never allowed it out of your sight long enough for a good soak..."

"Sorry, Kagome, if you want to hurt my feelings you're really going to have to speak up," he replied glibly as they approached Miroku's car. "Shotgun!"

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

"I can't believe he actually took the front seat," Kagome said almost to herself as she and Miroku stood in line for the House of Mirrors attraction.

"I can't believe you gave him an indian burn to make him give it up," Miroku replied with a mirthful laugh.

Kagome blushed slightly, realizing she had been acting like a child in front of her date since they had met even if that was all Inuyasha's fault. "Well, it worked at least."

"I'm glad it did," Miroku smiled back. "Inuyahsa is a great many things, but breathtaking is not one of them. Just being seen with someone of your beauty is a humbling experience." He reached for one of her hands and stroked small circles against her skin with his thumb.

"HANDS!" shouted an angry voice approaching quickly behind the couple. The long haired man shot his old friend a warning glance before passing out the food. "Kagome, your lemon shake-up, corndog, and deep-fried twinkie," he said the last part with a grimace. "How can you eat that?"

"It comes on a stick," she said, clearly not understanding.

Sighing in exasperation, Inuyasha clarified, "No, the deep-fried, cream-filled, styrofoam of impending doom."

"I know it sounds weird, but it is delicious. Do you want a bite?" She held out the sticky treat invitingly only to receive a disgusted look from her neighbor.

A faint smirk appeared on Miroku's face, but he realized neither of them were aware of the suggestive nature of her words or actions, so he let it pass. "You'll have to forgive him, Kagome. His sense of adventure was actually removed when he was very young. We were all quite upset about it--wailing, gnashing of teeth, well, I'm sure you can imagine."

"Very funny, Monk," Inuyasha said sarcastically as he took another inching step through the line. They would be inside shortly.

"Monk?" Kagome asked, bewildered by the nickname.

"It is best not to seek logic in the names assigned while in the throws of college, don't you agree?" Miroku said with an innocent expression, cutting off Inuysha's reply. The last thing he wanted was for his date to know he was called Monk out of irony due to the large numbers of women he had 'associated' with.

Luckily, before the issue could be pressed further they were inside the House of Mirrors.

Kagome stood in front of an hourglass-shaped mirror that made her hips and chest look a mile wide and her waist the size of a slim stick. She struck a pose, "Does this make me look fat?" she asked Miroku with a playful grin.

He stood to the side and held his hands at an angle, like a photographer fixing the frame. "Baby, I think you have potential with those proportions." He winked suggestively at her.

"Cut it out, we don't have all day to waste looking at these freak mirrors," Inuyasha announced, taking hold of a shoulder of each of his companions and pushing the two from behind.

Kagome dug her heels into the ground and jerked out of Inuyasha's grasp. "You're lucky I don't have my keys anymore," she snarled before taking hold of Miroku's hand and yanking him away from her stunned neighbor. They took off around the corner before Inuyasha could gather his thoughts.

"Lets make a run for it, and then he won't be able to catch up," Miroku suggested, grasping Kagome's wrist taking charge of their escape. He pulled her through a series of twists and turns. He looked over his shoulder and smiled arrogantly. "He always gets lost in mazes," he confided.

Kagome shook her head, "I can't believe he has actually tagged along. What was he thinking?"

Miroku shrugged, "No telling with him. I'm a great guy, really," he reassured, walking at a more leisurely pace. He stopped in front of a skinny mirror and flexed the bicep of his free arm. "Obviously, I need to work out," he frowned at his bean-pole image.

Kagome burst out laughing at his image. Miroku cocked a brow at her, "You've no room to talk yourself, shorty," he gestured towards the mirror she stood before. It made her look like a two foot gnome with long dark hair.

"I'm sure I'll have a growth spurt anytime now," Kagome answered defensively before bursting into laughter once more. Miroku released her wrist and placed his arm smoothly over her shoulders, shaking with her laughter.

He leaned his mouth down near her ear, "You certainly can make me grow," he told her softly. Kagome's mouth dropped open in shock at his blatancy. Miroku released her shoulder and stuffed his fist to his mouth to contain his laughter. "You're way too easy to tease," he told her before looking over his shoulder for signs of Inuyasha.

Kagome's laughter was too noticeable and he might be able to track them down. There was no sign of him, but he wasn't taking any chances and took the young lady through another complicated series of twists and turns until they caught sight of the exit.

"I hope you don't mind cutting our reflective adventure short to escape the foul beast, my lady." He bowed politely and applied a very formal accent to his words, fighting the smile that threatened to show through his disguise.

"Why not at all, my prince!" she said, playing along.

Together they ventured out of the attraction and soon, giggling like children, found themselves running hand in hand through the crowded walkways in a zigzag pattern. Stopping abruptly, Miroku caught Kagome in his arms as she stumbled at the unexpected halt. She looked up at him questioningly beneath dark bangs.

Lifting one hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, he spoke smoothly, "I'm very sorry about that. I hope you'll let me make it up to you." Before she could act, he pressed a gentle kiss against the center of her forehead. His lips were soft and she could feel a tingle run through her body at the touch.

Speechless, she watched him spin away while slipping one hand into hers and moving the other in a wide-arching motion. "This is why I stopped." He was gesturing to a ride slathered in pink and red hearts; complete with cherubs carrying bows and arrows and the words, Tunnel of Love, boldly marked at the top.

Taking in her skeptical look, he smiled charmingly. "Tacky, isn't it? But it is perfect for giving our boy, Inuyasha, the slip." What he didn't say was that he would love to get her alone on a boat ride in the dark to move that kiss a little lower next time.

"Sounds like an excellent idea as long as we make it through this line before he finds us," she wrinkled her nose at the extremely lengthy collection of couples awaiting their turn on the cutesy ride.

"Have no fear! A lady such as yourself should never have to wait in line with the commoners. I will see to it!"

He placed an arm around her waist and quickly escorted her to the line where he addressed everyone. "Good people, I don't mean to trouble you, but my recent bride has always loved this ride and I'm afraid I am very eager to enjoy the rest of our honeymoon. Could you find it in your hearts to help a pair of newlyweds out?"

His face was the very picture of convincing even if he had to tighten his grip around her waist to keep her from squirming in surprise, ready to protest his well-intentioned lies.

"Oh, newlyweds! How sweet. Come here, dears, you can cut in with us!" a little old woman called out from the front of the line. Before Kagome could refuse because of the annoyed looks some people were giving them, Miroku led her to the kind, if gullible, older couple.

Miroku captured the old woman's hand and gave it a light kiss and a priceless smile. "Madam, you are truly an angel. My bride and I thank you."

"Oh, aren't you an adorable young couple! You look just like Harold and I did when we got married. Don't they, Harold?" Her husband gave no sign of hearing her question. "Harold?" Still nothing. "HAROLD!"

"Hmm, what, dear?" the small old man asked with a blank smile.

"Nevermind," she frowned.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Kagome asked the couple reluctantly.

"Of course! Some people my age complain about young people always being in a rush, but you should be in a rush! Youth is wonderful. You should experience it to the fullest with the one you love. Not that I'm complaining about old age either. It is good being with my man, right, Harold? Harold? HAROLD!"

"Yes, dear?" he asked with the same blank smile which was becoming clear was a permanent fixture.

"Nevermind." She turned back toward Kagome and Miroku and gave them a wide grin. "It looks like your boat is here."

"So it does," Miroku said brightly. "You have my deepest thanks." He leaned back in to squeeze the lady's hand again before placing his hand on the small of Kagome's back and guiding her to the boat.

Once, securely inside, she gave him a soft look. "They were so cute."

"I think they felt the same way about us," he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"I still can't believe you did that," she said finally laughing at the escapade.

"What can I say? Your wish is my command. I had no choice," he smiled with false innocence.

"I bet you do that for all the girls," she teased in return as the boat began to move through the shallow water away from the irritated man who caught the briefest glance of their boat slipping into the darkness.

The tunnel was darker than Kagome would have thought for such a cheesy ride. She couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable now that it seemed that she and Miroku were alone in the abyss. She shifted on the narrow seat, brushing her thigh against Miroku's leg.

He slid his arm from around her shoulder, down her back, resting his hand on her hip. His thumb played lazy circles against the bare flesh that began to show where her shirt rose away from her skirt. Miroku then moved his free hand to rest on the smooth skin of her thigh.

Kagome laughed nervously, placing her hand upon Miroku's wandering one. Gently she pried it away and glanced around. "Do you hear that?" She asked, concentrating towards the entrance of the water ride. It sounded almost as if someone fell into the water.

"I'm too focused on your beauty to pay attention to anything else," Miroku confessed huskily as he dipped his face towards hers, catching her lips in his. Kagome lifted her hand to his chest, as his returned to caress her thigh. She pushed him away from her.

"What are you doing?" She squealed, arching her head back as far as her neck would bend.

A spark of impatience flashed in Miroku's violet eyes. "What did you think I was going to do?" He asked, a trace of annoyance in his voice. He blinked, turning to look towards the water. He definitely heard the sounds of someone swimming.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" Inuyasha shouted, reaching Miroku's side of the boat and dipping it dangerously towards the water.

"Let go, you idiot! You're going to tip this boat over!" Miroku warned. Kagome's eyes had grown huge in shock at Inuyasha's unexpected arrival. Miroku was handsome, but his advancements were too quick for her.

"And let you see Kagome in a wet t-shirt? I don't think so," Inuyasha answered. He reached up and grabbed hold of Miroku's collar and yanked him into the water beside him.

Kagome gasped as her date was abruptly pulled away from her, but she also felt a hint of relief that they had been interrupted. Her boat continued to move on at its set leisurely pace, but she turned around and squinted through the darkness toward the two men.

Inuyasha was still gripping Miroku's collar tightly and seemed to be lifting him partially out of the water and shaking him. "Why couldn't you just back off, Monk?"

"I didn't hear her complaining," he shot back unwisely, still in the other man's grip.

"That is because you weren't listening like always!" Inuyasha growled out as he tossed Miroku into the shallow water, splashing Kagome accidentally.

She really didn't want to get in the water, but she didn't want to leave the two men alone either in case one of them decided this would be a good place to hide the body. She carefully maneuvered dismounting the moving boat without tipping it over and wadded over to the two angry men who were still trading words more than blows.

"Stop it!" she called out when she saw Inuyasha draw his arm back threateningly.

"Kagome!" both men cried out in unison, apparently having been too consumed in their argument to notice she had joined them.

"What do you think you are doing?" she split her stern glare between them.

"You!" she said pointing to Inuyasha. "You had no right to interfere with my date in the first place. I don't care if he is your old friend from college, your brother, or your ballet instructor, because right now he is _my_ date and that takes precedence!" Any smart aleck comments he might have made died in his throat at the look she was giving him.

Then she heard a slight laugh from Miroku and spun around to cast him a withering glance too. "What do you think you're laughing at? He wouldn't have come along at all if he didn't know what a forward jerk you can be! Sure, you are cute, but what makes you think you can go all hands on a first date?"

Her lecture was cut off when another love boat slipped very slowly along its course through the damp trio. The couple inside the boat looked more than a little disconcerted and everyone just remained in the uncomfortable silence until they passed. Once they were almost out of earshot the girl in the boat turned to her boyfriend and whispered just loud enough for everyone to hear, "Do you think they are part of the ride?"

Kagome had calmed down considerably and mostly just felt embarrassed about having to walk out of the tunnel of love dripping wet soon. Then she noticed the smirk Miroku was giving Inuyasha. "Ha, did you hear that? She said I was cute."

Inuyasha bopped him upside the head, causing Miroku to lose his balance and stumble forward. Unfortunately, that sent him stumbling onto Kagome, sending them both underwater. Inuyasha ground his teeth and pulled them both up, separating the two bodily.

"I think it's safe to say this date is over," Inuyasha announced, dragging the soaking wet couple out of the water with him. They made their way back to the entrance, since it was closer than the exit. The attendant raised his brows at the sight. He had thought about calling security over to report the dark haired man that dove into the shallow waters, but had decided that the show to ensue offered more entertainment in the long run.

"Oh, Harold, can you believe that?" The old woman from earlier elbowed her husband in the ribs.

"Kids," he muttered.

"Give me your keys," Inuyasha demanded of Miroku.

"Why would I do that?" Miroku asked, pushing his wet hair out of his eyes. He was having no fun on this date at all. What might have been counted off as a funny situation was now simply uncomfortable between Inuyasha's anger and Kagome's embarrassment. He flashed Inuyasha a trademark smile, hoping to break the tension. "You think I'm going to allow you to drive _my _car?"

"Give me the keys willingly, and I might allow you to ride inside the vehicle," Inuyasha offered. He glanced over and noticed Kagome shivering in her wet clothes. He stripped off his button up over shirt and slung it over her shoulders, not really giving any warmth, but at least covering her up.

Miroku glanced over at Kagome and felt a twinge of regret for his actions. She really wasn't like the women he normally dated. This was the last time he ever tried to date a shy girl! "Fine," he agreed, tossing Inuyasha his keys. He didn't want to lose a friendship over one misunderstanding, and he wasn't used to seeing Inuyasha so serious.

Miroku decided his last gentlemanly act would be to offer Kagome the front seat while he sulked in the back, dripping over the soft leather. The ride back was extremely quiet except for the occasional well-placed cough from Miroku to indicate Inuyasha was driving too fast, but it only caused another increase in speed, so he held his tongue.

Back at the apartments, Inuyasha reluctantly allowed the two to end their date with a little bit of privacy, but that didn't mean he wasn't watching carefully just out of earshot.

"Kagome, this isn't ordinarily how I like to get a girl wet in a date, but it seems you are no ordinary girl." She looked like she was ready to hit him herself, so he threw his hands up defensively and to show it was a joke. "Seriously though, Inuyasha is a good guy even if he does hit his old college buddies a bit too easily," he said rubbing his jaw. "You are lucky to have him watching out for you."

Miroku took her hand in his and bowed to place a soft kiss on her fingers. "My lady, have a wonderful evening." Then he quickly jumped in his car and pulled away, not wanting to stick around to find out if Inuyasha would be mad about his last gesture. Kagome just stared after the retreating brake lights in confusion.

"Have you noticed all of your dates end in showers?" Inuyasha said by way of announcing his presence.

She was too tired to do anything but glare as she walked into her apartment, making sure to lock her door for some privacy.


	5. Jakotsu

**The Hunt for the Perfect Man: Chapter 5 - Jakotsu**

This is still a tag-team performance brought to you by **CharmedReality** and **BelleDayNight**.

_Disclaimer: We didn't create the characters. We just put them in compromising situations for our amusement._

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

He straightened his jacket and put the finishing touches on his quaff in the rear view mirror of his jeep. It wasn't every day he had a date with a mysterious woman. Of course, that was mostly because he was gay, but details weren't important. He needed to make a good impression. After all, he didn't want his brother, Bankotsu, saying the date didn't count because he didn't try hard enough. He was determined that this little rouse would settle things once and for all.

'Now, what is it that girls like?' he wondered as he browsed through a corner drug store in search of some last minute gifts for this "Kagome" person he would be picking up. His eyes landed on a cooler that contained a pale blue carnation attached to a lacy, white wristband, and he actually giggled aloud at the sight.

"A corsage. Perfect. No one can say a gay man doesn't do breeder romance right!" he said cheerfully to no one in particular even though he turned quite a few heads on his way to pay.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Kagome was looking forward to her date. After four—five if you counted the one her grandfather set her up on—bad dates she was due for a stroke of good luck. How many losers could there be in one city anyway?

"Hey, I'm out of milk, and I'm taking yours!" came a loud voice from outside her bedroom, "Don't bother coming out. I know how you ladies like to keep your weird getting-ready-for-a-date secret to yourself."

She set her hairbrush down and sighed as she listened to her neighbor barge in without knocking and make a beeline for her refrigerator. She folded her arms in front of her chest and waited for the inevitable whining.

"You are out of milk! How can you be out of milk?"

Emerging from her room, in a turquoise top and stylish white skirt, she walked silently to the front door, opened it, looked at him, and waited.

"If you have somewhere to be don't let me stop you."

"Out!" she demanded firmly.

"Kagome, is that any way to treat your favorite neighbor?" he shot back calmly with a smirk.

"The reason I don't have any milk is because you drank it all yesterday. And if you are so concerned with giving me my privacy when you knew I was getting ready for a date, then why did you come over?" she demanded testily.

"If you are so fond of being given your privacy then why didn't you lock your door? That can't really be safe, can it? Especially when all sorts of creeps know where you live now that you have started your mission to date half the city." He tossed in the last part mostly because there was nothing within her reach for her to throw at him.

"The last cre... The last guy was one of your best buddies. Maybe you are the one who shouldn't know where I live," her tone was much less frustrated sounding than the words themselves. This easy back and forth of barbs and one-liners of theirs had become something of a pre-date ritual.

In a way it was helpful preparation. After a few minutes with Inuyasha she could face whoever might come next.

Before Inuyasha could bat his eyes in fake contrition, both their heads turned to the sound of loud, upbeat, dance music emanating from a black jeep with a pink license plate holder and a shiny disco ball hanging from the rear view mirror.

Her intrusive neighbor was already doubled over laughing as she moved closer to the door to get a good look for herself. "You're dating Boy George! You've gone through all the straight men!" He was holding onto the back of the couch to keep from falling over with his laughter.

Kagome saw a man emerge from the jeep who was a little too pretty to be handsome. He was rearranging his long, black hair and adjusting the tendrils that hung down his long neck. For a moment, Kagome wished she could get her own hair to behave that well.

"Oh, shut up! You are just jealous because you're always such a mess. It's nice to see a man put some effort into his appearance!"

"Kagome, he is wearing tight, leather pants! He must think you are a guy," the man struggled to sober himself for a moment. "Oh, maybe he saw your picture and couldn't tell?" He was already laughing at his own joke when she smacked him in the arm. Hard.

"I am going to have a perfectly lovely date with a perfectly lovely gentleman. And he is not meeting you beforehand so you can ruin things!" She shoved him, and the unsuspecting man toppled over her ottoman. "So, just stay down, boy!"

She left Inuyasha in her apartment hoping it would still be intact when she returned, as she flaunted down the steps to greet her date.

"You must be Kagome! Oh, look at your earrings! They are just to die for. Where did you get them?" He continued without pause, "Give me that dainty little wrist of yours. I picked up the most perfect little accent for that outfit. The colors even work. I almost went neutral just to be sure, but who wants a neutral accent? Really. I know. Oh, I'm Jakotsu by the way," he added almost incidentally as he slipped the corsage on the speechless girl. "You can call me Jak. They all do!"

Finally, she opened her mouth to speak, but he was already leading her to the door which he did open for her. "I love that shade of lip gloss on you. Any more red in it and it would be whorish, but this is just right."

Something told her she should just go back inside, but then she remembered the man who would be ready with a mouthful of I-told-you-so if she did that. "Th-thank you. ...Your mascara is very flattering too."

Inuyasha just couldn't be right. What were the odds of something like that? What did he know about gay culture anyway? He was such a meathead. No, Jak was just a little eccentric, and that was fine. They would have a wonderful date and Inuyasha would hear all about how wrong he was!

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Settling into her seat next to Jak, she felt very, very underdressed for the occasion. Everyone had such exotic, amazing clothes on, which was to be expected considering he had taken her to a high fashion runway show.

He reached over to pat her hand and smile at her—such soft skin. "I just love these things. Oh, what I wouldn't give to let people dress me up like that and send me down the catwalk. I tried out once. I sent in a bunch of money to one of those scam operations. Just a shame! They do not know what they were missing out on. I can work it, girl! I'm telling you I am fierce like nobody they've seen before. Of course they always say I'm too short. Pfft, what do they know? Right? Having fun? Need anything? Oh, the music is starting!"

Well, that was one way to get around all the awkward small talk of a first date...

Kagome settled back as the first model strutted along the catwalk. Ugh, could she be any more anorexic? She watched Jak from the corner of her eye; he was absolutely enthralled by the models. Honestly, what did men see in models? They were all skinny and moody and ate ice cubes.

What guy would want to have a serious relationship with someone whose diet consisted of ice cubes? 'Look honey? I made dinner tonight—ice cube salad.'

Kagome giggled.

"Oh, I know," Jak said leaning to her side, whispering. "Those colors are just ridiculous together. Honestly fuchsia and apricot? Honestly. What was that designer snorting?"

Kagome blinked…fuchsia and apricot? She snapped her eyes to the model and noted the bright pink and peach colors. They really didn't go together. "Right. Drugs are very bad."

Jak slipped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her towards him, kissing her forehead in one fell swoop. "That's right angel cakes. I know so many lives that were ruined from bad drugs at a pool party orgy over the years. It's just catastrophic. Oh, now that's a sight!"

He pulled away from her and leaned with elbows propped on his knees eying the newest model. "I like that blue silk, I wonder if they have that in my size."

She wanted to be jealous, but she wasn't sure if it should be of the model or her dress, so she just sank back in her chair, watching Jak more than the show.

Finally, noticing the attention, Jakotsu quirked a brow in her direction before smirking. He really should try out the full heterosexual dating experience. Sure, they aren't born with the equipment, but that doesn't mean they aren't enthusiastic learners, right? There must be some reason the world is over-populated after all. Besides, it all feels the same with your eyes closed, right?

"Hey, Kagome, do you have a tongue ring?"

She blinked and almost asked him to repeat himself just to be sure she heard him correctly. "A tongue ring? No, why?"

"Oh, you know, the metal makes for good friction."

"Against wha—" Her eyes flung open wide in absolute shock and her slapping hand was in the air.

He caught her wrist, careful not to damage the flower he bought for her. "Woah, woah, I'm just joking around. Do you really think a guy like me would take advantage of a _girl_ like you?" He smiled good-spiritedly. She knew, right? There was no reason to come right out and state the obvious. He was as obviously gay as she was a prude.

"We just met," she said a bit too loudly and was shushed by a woman in a ridiculously oversized ostrich hat. "So how could I possibly have any idea of what you are or aren't capable of?" she hissed to appease the glaring woman. "Maybe I should take a cab home."

"Are you serious? Honey, unless you are packing a little extra special something, something under that skirt you've got nothing to worry about from me. The twenty-first century is calling. It wants to know what happened to your gaydar survival pack. Misplace it the last time you went to look at baby booties at K-Mart?"

The woman took off her hat to stare them down without plumes getting in front of her eyes just as they were saved by intermission.

"But you can NOT be gay," she said with frustration.

"Oh, I and everyone on my former high school's JV soccer team beg to differ, sweetie. Well, except Mukotsu. He had this weird odor problem, and I have my standards. Oh, yes I do."

Kagome pursed her lips and ground her teeth together in anger. With a huff she pushed out of her seat and walked briskly towards the lobby. She didn't need to call Inuyasha to the rescue. Maybe that Kouga guy would feel bad enough about what happened the other night he'd give her a lift?

Right, and then his fiancée would track her down and chop her up into little pieces.

She could walk. It would probably only take about four hours if she didn't stop to rest. That way when she got home all sweaty hours later Inuyasha would have to assume the worst—er best.

"What are you doing? You're missing the best part!" Jak's voice whined as he burst into the lobby. "Seriously? You can't possibly be upset about my sexual orientation. Honestly, what sort of man wears eyeliner?"

She whirled on him and jabbed him hard in the chest with her finger. "If you say the word 'honestly' one more time I'm going to rip your tongue out and strangle you with it."

"Well that's a little graphic, don't you think?" he said tilting his head to the side.

"Why would someone gay put up a profile on a heterosexual dating service site?"

"Oh, that. Well my brother, Bank, you know, he just wanted me to make sure I was gay, right? So I told him I'd do a little experimenting, just to see. And hey, that's what this is. I'm experimenting. No need to go all PMSing on me. Yesh. It's a wonder there is any repopulating going on at all in the world."

"So I'm just an experiment?"

"Well, yeah. Aren't I just an experiment to you too?"

"I guess," Kagome admitted, folding her arms over her chest. "And what the heck was the deal with the tongue ring question? We're watching some woman strut around wearing lion skins and the next thing I know you're asking me questions about oral?"

Jak shrugged with a grin. "Lions are kinky, you know? I mean, I'm still willing to give this experiment a full run. I guess I could be bi." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and leaned towards her ear. "What are your thoughts on threesomes or on anal?"

Kagome elbowed him hard in the ribs. "I think you're gross! That's what I think of that matter."

Jak rubbed his side gingerly. "All right. Obviously, this experiment isn't going well. Seriously, I don't see how you couldn't know I was gay with the disco ball in the jeep. See, I said 'seriously' instead of 'honestly' do I get any points for that?"

Well, he was going out to appease his brother. And he was right to a certain extent. It was all an experiment. "I am not a prude."

"I take it back," Jak said, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Now, shall we finish the show?"

"No, I don't want to see any more peacocks strutting around on stage."

"Let's go shopping then! My treat! I'll make up for my terrible behavior." Jak grinned, thinking that he'd see whether or not she was a prude. He knew of this great store with all sorts of fun toys. Maybe they could get a chocolate flavored strap on dildo and then really…experiment.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

"I'm sorry about your eye. Does it still hurt?"

"You smacked me in the face with your purse. It's likely to sting for a while. No worries though. It looks like a purple bruise and that is my best color. The boys who like it rough will go wild for it." He tossed her a little wink with his non-injured eye. "I am, of course, staying as far away from women as I can for a while though. Too violent."

They both laughed as he turned off the engine in front of her apartment. "I wasn't expecting you to come up behind me with something like _that_ it was flashing and spinning and making sounds!"

"And don't forget the lifelike texture!" His smirk sat upon his delicate features boldly.

"Don't worry. I won't be able to forget that as long as I live no matter how hard I try." After about twenty minutes of refusing to leave the jeep to go inside of a place called, Hentai's Pleasure Palace, they had actually ended up having a lot of fun inside. Who knew they could do that with rubber?

"What now? Is this the part where I walk you to the door and we have a passionate post-date kiss with lots of non-pierced tongue wagging around?"

"Eww! You can walk me to the door, and if you can manage to get all the way up there without saying something else that is going to scar me for life I'll give you a peck on the cheek for your trouble."

"Oooh, a peck on the cheek from a girl, be still my beating heart," he joked as he got out and walked around to open her door. "I'll be on my very best behavior. I wouldn't want to disturb your neighbors."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. My neighbor is already very deeply disturbed." She looked around, wondering where he had himself hidden this time.

Jak offered his arm and Kagome slipped hers through it. They had just reached her front door when it opened. Inuyasha stood there with a bag of trash in his hand and gave them the once-over.

"Tomorrow's trash day," he said walking past them.

"Uh, thanks," Kagome called feeling confused that he'd take out her trash for her. He was probably digging through it, trying to research her personal information. It was a good thing Souta bought her that shredder last Christmas so her nosy neighbor wouldn't be finding out too much.

Except she was just on her period. Surely he didn't take out the trash in her bathroom. Did he? Ew…gross gross gross!

"Something wrong, Kagome?" Jak asked. "Your face got really pale. Was it the gift I bought you? Because honestly, er—seriously, you don't have to use it. Just, you know, think about it? One day there might be this guy and you might want to try something kinda kinky, you know?"

"What? No, that's not it." Kagome shook her head, blushing.

"So, who's the hottie?"

"What?"

"You know, the trash collector? What's the story? You think maybe you'd be interested in a threesome if he was the cream to our oreo?"

"What? Gross! Shut up!" She started to punch him in the gut, but he caught her wrist.

"It was just a suggestion, calm down."

Inuyasha stepped back inside, his eyes drawn to the bag sitting on the kitchen table with large bold letters saying 'Hentai's Pleasure Palace.' "Uh, you're back a little earlier than I thought. You don't have other…plans do you?"

"Well honey, now that you mention it…" Jak trailed off with a flirtatious smile.

"I think you better go, it was fun. Bye Jak," Kagome pushed him to the door.

"Wait! Aren't you going to give me my kiss?"

Inuyasha chuckled. "If that black eye is any indication, I'd say she already gave you one."

Jak gave him a pouty look. "Want to make it better?"

"Uh, bye Jak," Kagome said shutting the door in his face.

She leaned against it and turned to face Inuyasha. His eyes were on the bag.

"So, did you have a good time?" he asked, smirk on his face. "What's in the bag?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," Kagome muttered. She opened the door, "I want to turn in now, if you don't mind. Leave."

Inuyasha stuck his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Sure thing," he said with a careless shrug before leaving.

Kagome watched him in shock. That was it? Wasn't he going to tease her and rag on her? And…oh god. Rag. She grabbed her bag of treats and then hurried to the bathroom. The bag was stashed under the counter and then she saw that the trash can was empty.

She slouched against the wall and slid to the floor in disgust. How gross. Eeewwww!

What she needed was a good piece of chocolate cake. Maybe the food fairy came by and brought cake and put it in her fridge? Doubtful, but she'd check anyway.

The refrigerator was probably home to a lovely pile of moldy cheese maybe some two week old expired eggs. She opened the door and then gasped in shock.

It was fully stocked. There was even a fresh gallon of milk.


	6. Sesshoumaru 1

**The Hunt for the Perfect Man: Chapter 6 - Sesshoumaru (part one)**

This is still a tag-team performance brought to you by **CharmedReality** and **BelleDayNight**.

_Disclaimer: We didn't create the characters. We just put them in compromising situations for our amusement._

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

"Ah ha! Take that! Oh yeah, you're mine, Inuyasha! Eat it!"

Snickering, Inuyasha calmly replied, "You do know that isn't your character who is winning, right?"

"Huh? Oh...damn. Well, that wouldn't happen if you hadn't have picked the girl!"

"I can't help it. Peach just kicks ass. I respect a girl who can beat up on anyone with just a little pink parasol." He smiled, thinking she reminded him of someone he knew. "Besides, you are the one who wanted to play Super Mario Bros Smash Melee. My vote was for Balls of Fury."

"I still say that sounds like something you'd find in the back room of a video store."

"I'm not sure you should really be bringing up scandalous back rooms," he said, just as he directed Peach to whack her Donkey Kong right off the screen.

Kagome's cheeks turned a ruddy hue, remembering the gift Jakotsu had purchased for her from Hentai's Pleasure Palace. She really wished Inuyasha hadn't seen _that_.

"Uh, as long as I'm dead I think I'll get a refill. Want another cookie?"

"Do you really need to ask?" He flipped through the menus to adjust the difficulty level, so Kagome would have a better chance against him on their next round.

Kagome poured more milk into her glass and gathered up the plate to bring back to her coffee table. Inuyasha paid for the cookie mix and the milk so it had seemed only right to invite him over for an evening snack. After all, she didn't have any dates scheduled that day. A night off sounded just about perfect even if she was electing to spend part of it with her nuisance of a neighbor.

Hearing that tell-tale jingle on her laptop, she changed gears to check her e-mail. It was from the dating service.

"Look at you, Miss Social Butterfly. Is that one of your admirers?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," she replied absently, waiting for the page to load. And load it did. "Oh, wow..." Her jaw dropped a little at the profile and picture on the screen.

Inuyasha was quite sure he had never heard her voice do that before, and he wasn't sitting on the couch when he could be seeing what caused it instead.

If Kagome's reaction could be considered one of delighted shock, then Inuyasha's was one of irritated shock. His jaw was firmly set and his amber eyes narrowed dangerously. The cookie he was holding crumbled in his fist and scattered across the floor.

"Huh?" Kagome hadn't even noticed him getting up or looking over her shoulder as she read the most impressive profile yet, but she did notice the cookie pieces hitting the hard wood and looked down. "Hey, you better clean that up."

"Why don't you have your next date clean it up?" he practically growled, eyes still focused on the picture of a tall man with long, silky hair tied neatly back in a ponytail and eyes that looked very much like his own.

"What?" Kagome said, tearing herself away from words like, 'wealthy business man and investment genius and prince of a small, prospering island nation' to really notice her neighbor's expression. Her normal retorts died on her tongue as she wondered what had caused this reaction. "Come on, let's get back to the game. You can clean it up later."

"I have things to do, Kagome. I can't sit around playing video games all night." He turned sharply and strode to the door.

Blinking quickly, trying to figure out what knot got tied in his panties, she called after him, "What about this mess?" But the only reply was the sound of her door slamming shut. A moment later she pressed the accept button for her date with the mysterious man named, Sesshoumaru.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

The front door to a very large estate was slammed open and a cowering butler hurried out of harm's way.

"Mother! What have you done?" came the angry voice of a certain wealthy businessman and prince.

Sesshoumaru's mother came breezily down the spiral staircase. "Sesshoumaru, darling, what has you so uptight? Did a competitor try to sue you for monopolizing the market again?"

"No," he ground out gripping the stairs' banister, cracking the wood in his tight fist. "You put up a profile on one of those abysmal dating service websites—without my permission. I only discovered it after a 'match' was found. I've deleted the profile and canceled the membership."

"Oh, honey, but you're always so busy working." She rested her hand lightly on his shoulder but he shrugged it off and continued to glower down at her. "You really do need to get out and live a little."

"If I want to find a woman, trust me mother, it's not hard," Sesshoumaru scoffed turning away. "And now I am honor bound to take out this pathetic woman."

"How do you know she's pathetic? Maybe her mother put her profile on the site."

He threw his hands into the air. "Oh yes, that's much better." He turned towards the door. "I'll not be here for dinner Friday night."

"Oh, honey, you're not going to be cruel to the poor woman, are you?" his mother asked worriedly.

"No. I'll give her the best night of her lonely, pathetic, miserable life." Sesshoumaru slammed the door behind him and went to his Porsche Turbo. He pulled out his iPhone from the console and dialed his assistant's number.

"Jaken, I have an assignment."

"Yes, my lord, what would you have me do? Anything you could possibly want, I'll see that it's supplied promptly and without delay."

"Silence. If I wanted to hear you talk—I never want to hear you talk. Listen. I want you to go to the diner that my date works at. Have a complete evaluation written up about her on my desk tomorrow."

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

It had been nearly four days since she'd seen Inuyasha. She might not have thought that to be too unusual since she'd been busy with projects at school and work. However, she'd not even seen a light turned on in his apartment—not that she was looking of course.

Why would he leave without telling her? Not for the first time she wondered what it was exactly that he did for a living.

Straightening her name badge she cast one last look in the break room's mirror. Yep. She looked like a waitress, so it was time to start waiting and brave the happy hour pandemonium. Karan was already there waiting; Shunran would clock in right before the dinner rush-hour; Shuuran, the cook, was slaving away in the back; and Touran, the manager, was no doubt running every which where.

"Finally, you're here," Touran said pushing Kagome towards the front of the diner.

"But I'm twenty minutes early," Kagome protested.

Her pale haired boss didn't seem to hear her. "You've got the front, Karan's got the back. Shunran won't be coming in today so it's just us."

"Right," Kagome agreed surveying her customers including one very squat looking man with an almost shriveled face and a head slightly too large for his small frame. Still, a customer was only as good or as bad as how they tipped! At least that is what Karan always said on bad nights.

"Hello, my name is Kagome, and I will be helping you tonight. Can I get you started with a beverage? We have a strawberry-banana smoothie on special tonight."

Jaken's face contorted further as he recoiled at the idea of consuming such low-class food. He had become quite accustomed to the life style afforded the assistant of a great man like Sesshoumaru. Still, if he only ordered water, he would have less interaction with the woman, and that wouldn't do. "Ginger tea and a spinach and portobello panini grilled in extra virgin olive oil and basil," he said succinctly, not wishing to spare extra words on the working class. It disgusted him to think of the great Sesshoumaru, prince of Tensaiga, associating with such peasantry.

Kagome looked up from her notepad at the quirky, little man. She managed a friendly smile, "My, that does sound good. I'm afraid this is more of a burger and fries kind of place though. Our mushroom and swiss burger is really good though or I could recommend a place a few blocks away that I'm sure has something similar to that at least."

Sending customers away wasn't typically the game plan of someone seeking tips, but this guy just seemed too out of place. And what was with his twisted cane anyway? Did he have a limp? Somehow, she doubted it was an old sports injury. He didn't really seem the linebacker type.

"I already gave you my order!" he snarled, before a mental image of Sesshoumaru's disappointment and ire came to him. "Oh, fine. I'll have this mushroom and swiss _burger_ of yours. See to it there are no vermin in the kitchen...please."

Oh, she was going to work hard for the money tonight.

Her teeth always showed prominently when her smiles were forced. And at the moment her teeth were very visible. "I will put your order right in, sir. And would regular iced tea be okay? Or we have raspberry."

"Iced," he growled, already starting to jot down notes as she turned to go. "Wait!"

"Yes, sir? Is there something else I can get you?"

He looked up at her with his large, insect-like eyes. "Yes, would you describe your nose as pug-like or pudgy?"

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Kagome fumed all the way home that night, occasionally cursing her first customer under her breath and sometimes not so under. As if he hadn't been horrible enough, he had also insisted on remaining at that table for her entire shift, ordering one thing he left untouched, except maybe to poke at it, after another!

At one point she had managed to convince Karan to switch sections with her, but the little man had actually become irate and demanded Kagome. Touran was about to throw him out when Kagome intervened. She didn't want the diner to get a hostile reputation with its customers, and she figured she only had another hour or so to endure, but he did _not_ make it easy.

And then, to make matters worse, NO TIP!

"Arrogant, pompous, pain-in-the-ass!" She spit out as she stomped up the steps to her door.

"What did I do this time?"

Kagome practically stumbled back down the stairs as Inuyasha's voice caught her off guard. He was sitting on his porch in the darkness, and all she could do was make out his silhouette.

"Hey, hey," he chided, getting to his feet quickly in case she needed to be physically steadied. "No trips to the emergency room tonight, okay?"

Her speechlessness left a vacuum of silence that hung between them thickly in the cool, night air. Finally, it was replaced with the kind of venom one can only develop from having some creepy little man ask inappropriate questions all night. "No, we wouldn't want that, would we? I'd hate to inconvenience you! Why don't you just go back to your disappearing act? I liked it a lot better!"

Seconds later her door was slammed in Inuyasha's face and she was making a beeline to her bathroom. A hot bubble bath was clearly in order.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Sesshoumaru read over the fifteen paged, double spaced, size ten Times New Roman font report. "What does this mean?" he asked.

"Sir?" Jaken asked.

"You're faulting her for the restaurant's menu? Are you a complete fool? You were supposed to be inconspicuous." He ran his fingers through his hair in annoyance. "You weren't thrown out. That says something for her patience," he muttered.

He flipped through the next few pages until he fell upon a photograph of her outside her home. "You followed her?"

"Of course, I wanted you to have the most accurate report," Jaken said quickly.

Sesshoumaru noted the address and then scrolled through his telephone's contact list, coming across the name of his half-brother. "That's interesting," he said.

"What, sir? What is of interest? Did you enjoy how I described her grimace on page eight? I think her teeth are a bit too straight. I'd wager she once wore braces, you certainly wouldn't want to sully your genes with horrible teeth."

"I'm going on a date with her, not having her bear my children," Sesshoumaru answered absently. He flipped the next page and saw a second photograph, this time of Kagome's door slammed into the face of his long lost—more like forgotten—estranged half-brother.

"So, sir, shall I call in your body double to take her out? Surely you don't want to contaminate your greatness with her lowly peasant filth," Jaken said.

"No. I want you to have the jet prepared for tomorrow night. Make the arrangements and leave me in peace." Sesshoumaru shooed his subordinate away. He then turned to his laptop and signed onto his e-mail.

_Kagome,_

_I look forward to our outing tomorrow night. You have my apologies for not responding sooner with details on our date. As you have surmised from my profile I am a rather busy man. Be ready at 6:00 p.m., and pack your swimsuit and something nice for a casual dinner._

_Sesshoumaru_

He hit the send button and then leaned back in his chair, arms crossed behind his head with a smug expression. Won't tomorrow night be a fun family reunion?

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

_Authors' Note: Yes, it was a bit of a tease, but we felt like Sesshoumaru deserved his own two chapter arc. _


	7. Sesshoumaru 2

**The Hunt for the Perfect Man: Chapter 7 - Sesshoumaru (part two)**

This is still a tag-team performance brought to you by **CharmedReality** and **BelleDayNight**.

_Disclaimer: We didn't create the characters. We just put them in compromising situations for our amusement._

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Two sets of amber eyes met across the short span of space, but the distance stretched beyond imagining.

One pair of eyes was expressionless, but far from vacant. They were intelligent, piercing eyes, carefully guarding their master's emotions and thoughts through a veil of stoicism.

The other set swirled with evident emotion from their place beyond a simple pane of glass. These eyes were not pleased. They threatened silently beneath thick, black lashes.

The stare was broken when a nearby door swung open, hinges squeaking just enough to be noticed. "Hello," Kagome called out with an enthusiastic smile. Her tone was tinged with a hint of nervousness as she fumbled with uncharacteristic clumsiness with her keys to lock her door.

This man was certainly perfect on paper. It was a little intimidating. And the last thing she wanted was for a prince to see her Ikea-fabulous apartment complete with her slip covered 70's style couch. Some fabric patterns should have been illegal.

"I hope I am dressed appropriately," she smiled as she walked slowly down her stairs, not trusting herself to avoid something embarrassing like tumbling down them. A broken neck would really put a damper on the evening.

"Indeed," he replied simply as he extended his arm for her to take.

The gesture took a moment to process. It was so...storybook-worthy or like something from a black and white movie. She rested her fingers on the crook of his arm and was soon swept up into the back of his stretch limousine!

Sesshoumaru gestured to the driver silently before casting one last look back at the window to the woman's neighboring apartment and then entering the vehicle behind her.

It was with much unnecessary emotion from Jaken that he had managed to arrange a different driver. He would not have the man's irritating, but loyal presence around Kagome after the nuisance he made of himself for such a simple assignment.

Her date was not a talker, and she found herself filling the quiet with idle banter. She was more than half way through a rather ill-advised depiction of what happens to a diner freezer when the circuit breaker is tripped and it goes unnoticed overnight. The more she realized how much she shouldn't be telling the story, the more descriptive she became until a pale hand was raised.

"I apologize for interrupting your...delightful tale, but we must depart now."

"Oh, of course. I'm sorry. I really should be talking about something more interesting or learning more about you, right? I mean, that is kind of what these dates are all about, isn't it?"

His eyebrow arched ever so slightly, but otherwise his countenance had yet to waver in the slightest. "Dates?"

"Through the agency. Oh, is this your first?"

"First and only."

She wasn't sure what to make of that, but before she had time to ponder her door was opened and a young girl, who didn't seem like she should have been old enough to be their driver, smiled brightly at her. "This way to the jet, ma'am. Rin has everything prepared," the girl announced in the third person causing Sesshoumaru to give her a disapproving look.

"The what?!" Kagome blurted out, unaware of anything past the word 'jet.'

"If you are a squeamish flyer we can adjust our plans, but the restaurant I have planned is not accessible by car."

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Inuyasha was seething and practically foaming at the mouth in anger. The nerve of that stuck up icicle finding a way to screw over a part of his life. Was it so much to ask that Kagome be his source of entertainment? He didn't want to share her with an ungrateful prick who couldn't tell the difference between a scorching fire and freezer burn.

Did Sesshoumaru feel anything?

He swore he wasn't human. He always suspected he was some sort of robot sent to impersonate a human being. And what was with the Carey Grant arm offer? This was the twenty-first century. There was no such thing as chivalry. It was so…lame.

He went to his computer and started putting the skills that the government paid him the big bucks for to use. It would be a simple thing to hack into the dating service's database.

A few minutes of fingers flying across his keyboard later, he managed to open the deleted file of one Sesshoumaru "Mr Perfect" Youkai. Naturally, his profile didn't give his full name, but it would be hard for one not to recognize the bane of one's existence in all its gory details.

He noticed that the profile was deleted shortly after Kagome had discovered the match. It must have been Sesshoumaru's mother that set it up. It was just like that meddlesome socialite to do such a thing. It was almost funny, but not funny ha-ha. More just, funny in the way that it happened to Sesshoumaru and not him.

Picking up his cell phone, Inuyasha scrolled through until he reached Miroku's number on the contact list. He might have told Kagome he'd not seen his old college friend since the old days of university life, but that wasn't exactly the truth.

They worked together every day, even though they never actually saw one another in person. Who'd have thought that two college roommates who ran the circuit of pirating music and movies online though a complicated web of almost trackless routes would end up being offered jobs as hackers by the government?

Naturally, if they'd been really good their tracks wouldn't have been discovered, but that was neither here nor there.

Slipping his blue tooth over his ear, Inuyasha called up his comrade in arms.

"This better be a booty call from some beautiful woman with loose morals."

"Sorry to disappoint," Inuyasha said. "Get on Buffy, I want you to do something for me."

"Buffy? The sultry, emo vampire layer? Did you wear a hole through your DVD again?"

"Your computer, you numb nut," Inuyasha growled.

"You always spoil my fun." There was a long sigh. "All right, she's booting up. Now, why did you interrupt my perfectly boring and dateless night? You know if it weren't for your little stunt the other night I'd be enjoying some ---"

"If you finish that sentence I will kill you."

Miroku cleared his throat. "So what did you want me to do that you can't?"

"This is a two-man job, and I can't handle it all with just Faith."

"She giving you troubles again? I'm telling you she's got a Trojan in her."

"Could you get your mind out of the gutter for just one minute?"

"But it likes to live there so much," Miroku whined. "Fine, fine, I'll get serious. What do you want me to do?"

"Sesshoumaru Youkai. I want you to look up his latest activities regarding credit card and debit card purchases. Anything involving recent cash flow."

"You want me to look up "Mr. Perfect"? Why?" There was laughter coming from Miroku's end of the phone. "This is priceless. Your neighbor has a date with him?"

"Are you hacking into the dating service database?"

"Of course, I can read you like an open book and you're just all shades of jealous."

"Just look into it. I've got something else to work on." Inuyasha began digging deeper into the database for the dating service and infiltrating the mechanism used to sort through compatibility. Perhaps, he could help Kagome find her next couple of dates. It shouldn't take much to sour her to the idea of online dating even if she had proven unusually resilient so far.

Miroku whistled. "Oh, you're not going to like this," he warned. "Remember, you asked for it. He's taking her on a private plane and they're going to a remote island and…"

"And what?"

"Looks like he left a message for you. A popup just appeared on my screen saying 'You're still second rate. Don't worry—your little neighbor will always remember the name Youkai when thinking of all things orgasmic. Sesshoumaru Youkai.'"

Inuyasha ground his teeth, jaw aching from the tense muscles.

"You still there?" Miroku asked, a nervous edge to his voice.

"He is so dead." Inuyasha forgot about the dating service for the time being and went straight to Sesshoumaru's bank accounts. _We'll see how he likes it when all his assets are frozen._

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

"Holy shiiiii...I can't believe this," Kagome finished, catching herself...somewhat. "I thought the airplane ride was impressive, but this restaurant is amazing. Is that an ice sculpture? And a harpsichordist?! And it looks like everything is lined in gold." Her wide eyes took in the sheer scope of the room with its detailed tapestries and ornate wall carvings.

Turning back to her date, she blushed. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Sesshoumaru, I must sound like a ridiculous tourist. I hope you aren't too embarrassed, but I couldn't blame you if you were."

"Think nothing of it," her tall escort replied evenly. "And your deduction is correct. Much of the interior has been lined in paint with flecks of gold mixed in to it."

Under normal circumstances, he would find her enthusiasm grating. Still, his involvement with Rin had taught him the valuable lesson of listening only when necessary. Besides, he had to admit an almost youthful excitement at the thought of his younger brother, using his mediocre skills to find the message he left for him.

Reaching their table, he extracted her chair for her. Normally, he would allow their host to perform this function, but tonight was special. He _would_ send this woman home smiling.

So far the minor adjustments to his behavior seemed to be having the desired effect. Her cheeks had once again returned to the ruddy hue he associated with her feeling embarrassingly pleased by something.

It was not...unflattering to her complexion.

Taking his own seat, he ordered an expensive bottle of pinot noir from the sommelier. His mother had always referred to it as the most romantic of the wines. It seemed likely, however, that the selection had gone over his date's head. Nevertheless, he trusted she would enjoy the choice. It was sophisticated with an edge of sweetness, which was a combination she already seemed to respond to well.

"Please, tell me more about yourself," he asked congenially. He paid only enough attention to her response to know she was covering subjects he had already researched and that she had not yet recovered from her tendency to ramble. Instead, he focused on the language of her body—the flash of her throat as she drew breathes between long-winded sentences, the way her fingers were absently sliding over the dull edge of her knife, and the fluttering of impossibly long eyelashes over her large, dark eyes. She was not an unpleasant subject to study.

His half-brother had always had little tact and social grace. It was not a fate they shared. But even a fool can stumble across the occasional worthwhile interest.

"I'm not that interesting," Kagome said.

Sesshoumaru suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at her automatic self-defeating statement.

"I'm a part-time student at the university and I work at a restaurant in order to pay the bills not covered by my scholarship. If I could go to school fulltime I'd have graduated last year."

"Do your parents not provide financial support?"

Kagome shook her head. "They do their best to contribute, but it's not much. It's fine, I'm learning a more valuable lesson by having to earn my education. My little brother is still in high school so I'd rather they make sure he was being taken care of more so than me."

Ah, she had a good work ethic. Sesshoumaru's level of respect for her rose marginally. The waiter arrived with their wine. He sampled it and approved it before the waiter filled two glasses.

He lifted his glass and gestured for Kaoru to do the same. "To sharing a good meal and a pleasant evening," he saluted.

"Cheers," Kagome said clicking her glass against his. She took a sip and then burst into giggles. "I hardly ever drink," she confessed before taking a much heavier draught of the wine. "It tastes very sweet."

"Yes, it does," Sesshoumaru agreed. The cell phone in his pocket began to buzz and he took it out to read the text message. It was from Jaken. Apparently someone had just attempted to freeze his accounts. Little brother must have received his message.

"What about you? I know you're a successful business man, but how'd you start out? Are you close to your family?"

Sesshoumaru sipped his wine as he chose his words. Should he reveal his relationship with Inuyasha? It would spoil some of his fun if he were to reveal all the rabbits under his hat. "My father was a powerful business man and my mother came from a very wealthy family. She helped him establish himself as a world renowned force in the international market. Unfortunately, their marriage dissolved when I was in college and father married someone shortly afterwards. My new step-mother gave birth six months later, proving to me the cause of my parents' failed marriage."

"I'm so sorry to hear that," Kagome said quietly.

"It hardly matters now. My image of father was shattered. I'd idolized him and then to see him humbled by something as mundane as infidelity was a disappointment."

They ate in silence for a few moments as a quartet of violinists approached their table to serenade them in Mozart. The sound soothed Sesshoumaru's residual resentment and by the time the music had ended to a round of applause by the entire restaurant he felt ready to continue with his tale.

"I graduated and started working for my father in a vice-president capacity, but I'd see the picture of him with his new family sitting on his desk. There was no picture of my mother or I. To be replaced with such ease motivated me to surpass my father. So, I quit and with a small loan from my mother and with the use of some careful investments I'd made during college I started my own company."

"The Bakusaiga Corporation?"

"That's correct. You paid attention to my biography."

A blush stole across Kagome's cheeks. "Well you were so handsome and I wanted to learn as much about you as possible so that I wouldn't make a complete fool of myself on our date." She looked away coyly. "I guess that didn't work."

"You've not made a fool of yourself. You've been quite amusing," he assured her.

She decided to take that as a compliment. "What's your relationship with your father now? And your half-sister or brother?"

"I'd learned a valuable lesson from the whole ordeal. Never place someone on a pedestal for one. My mother is content. I don't talk to father unless I see him at a business function. I suppose my step-mother is a nice woman, but I'd rather not get to know her."

"And the child?"

He thought about Inuyasha. He possessed the good qualities of his father tempered by his mother's good heart. It was once painful to see Inuyasha for he had mirrored their father in so many ways. Inuyasha was too similar to the father Sesshoumaru knew growing up. Thankfully, he wasn't the bitter disappointment that their father turned out to be.

"Half-brother, and he has turned out all right, though I would never tell him such."

"Maybe you should. Siblings have a special bond, even half-brothers."

"Perhaps," he agreed noncommittally.

Dinner went by surprisingly well and he was thankful that in spite of her inexperience with alcohol she possessed enough restraint to stop drinking before she made herself drunk.

"What else do you have planned?"

"Patience," Sesshoumaru said helping her slip into her jacket. "The moon is full so I thought we might enjoy the night sky."

"I do like star-gazing," Kagome said with a grin. "Especially with a handsome man and walking along the beach."

He offered his arm and she looped hers through it. "Then you should enjoy what I have in store."

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

"Blocked!?! What do you mean by blocked?" Inuyasha scowled at his computer screen as it once again delivered the bad news. He'd tried everything to tap into Sesshoumaru's accounts, but nothing was working.

The man was an icicle, but his accounts refused the frostbite.

An amused voice piped up over his wireless. "Are you doing that thing where you talk to your computer even though I'm still on the line?"

"Are you doing that thing where you make jokes without being helpful in the slightest?"

"Hey, I'm not the one who interrupted my fun evening in of cheetos and Baywatch reruns." Miroku smirked on his end before adding, "She's your girlfriend, not mine. You saw to that."

"Kagome is NOT my girlfriend. She's barely a friend and the girl part is up for debate," he countered a little too defensively.

"Well, whatever or whoever she is, it looks like she is going to have a long evening without any financial disruptions." Miroku had given up trying to break through Sesshoumaru's private security systems. They were denser than anything the government had to throw at him. Instead, he was scrolling through the various profiles on the dating site taking down e-mail addresses for later. "There are some real winners on this site."

Inuyasha's coffee cup took the brunt of his frustrations as it sailed across the room. But his cohort was right. He wouldn't be getting past Sesshoumaru's defenses tonight. That didn't mean he couldn't return to plan A.

The dark haired man began looking through the various profiles on the online dating site as the dark stain began to set in his tan carpeting.

Kagome's future assignments just needed a little tweaking. After all, she was his neighbor and he needed to look out for her.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Time flies while you're having fun and Kagome refused to look at her watch. She didn't want the night to end. And she knew if she looked at that traitorous hour hand it would tell her she had stayed out far too late with a man she had only met earlier that night.

If her watch was a little chattier it might also scold her for getting on a jet with a perfect stranger or letting him fix an arm around her waist as they walked down a secluded beach under a starlit sky.

There had been something like a whimper of disappointment from her when he had finally suggested they return to the plane. She cursed herself for sounding like a petulant child while she was on the arm of someone who had to be famous. Those looks, those resources, and that intelligence were too rich to be bottled up on a no name. Of course, she'd never heard of Sesshoumaru Youkai before seeing his bio, but as her neighbor was fond of pointing out, she didn't get out much. Like he really had room to talk.

Already back in the limo, en route to her apartment, she found herself chattering away once again. Clearly the man wanted to know everything about waiting tables. Who wouldn't want to know the way she'd mark down certain things on the tickets to remind her which order went with which customer? Poofy hair had a tuna melt, brown shirt had a strawberry milkshake, and bad comb-over wanted his dressing on the side.

She was still talking about it as he helped her out of the car and as he walked her up the steps. For a minute she desperately thought she might have to shove something in her mouth to get her to stop, but not surprisingly Sesshoumaru had a more elegant method of silencing her.

"Kagome," he said simply and when she tilted her face up toward him, he drew her closer and closed the distance between their lips.

Reflexively, her arms encircled his neck as she stood on the tips of her toes for better access to the much taller man. She wasn't thinking about the time slipping away. She wasn't noticing about the public nature of their private exchange. And she didn't hear the low growl coming from next door although she could feel Sesshoumaru smiling into their kiss.

After what seemed like a lifetime, but still not long enough, Kagome settled back to the flats of her feet as Sesshoumaru straightened up. She tried to speak, but there was only a happy smile on her face and a sparkle in her eye as she watched the man's long hair stream over his broad shoulders.

"Isn't it a little late to be gallivanting around, young lady?" Inyasha's eyes were fixed on his brother even as his words were meant for his neighbor.

"Inuyasha," she managed after a moment. Still dumbstruck, she wasn't prepared to show him the irritation he deserved for interrupting what had already proved to be the best date, not only of her time with the service, but ever. "This is Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru smirked at his half-brother. "And you must be the over-bearing neighbor, Inuyasha." His arm slipped casually across Kagome's shoulder as he moved to stand next to her facing the neighboring door.

"I never said that!" Kagome said quickly. Inuyasha certainly didn't deserve her defending his poor behavior but he also didn't deserve to think she'd been talking ill of him to her date—which she hadn't—at least she didn't think she had.

Both men stared at her expectantly. How long had she been having her internal monologue? She cleared her throat nervously. "I didn't say that, really."

Sesshoumaru squeezed her shoulders reassuringly. "No, you didn't say that. You would never speak ill of someone no matter how much they might deserve it. The observation was made all on my own." He gently positioned Kagome so that they were facing her door and angled away from Inuyasha. "How about some tea?"

"What? You're inviting yourself to her apartment? I don't recall her asking you to tea!"

"I ask that you mind your own business, Kagome's neighbor."

"The name is Inuyasha."

"Yes, I am aware that your parents named you 'female dog demon' and offer my condolences." Sesshoumaru glanced over his shoulder. "I didn't wish to insult you by calling you such a name."

"Kagome, you can't let him into your place!" Inuyasha said grabbing hold of her elbow in a crushing embrace that would surely leave bruises.

"You're hurting me, Inuyasha."

He didn't seem to hear, he was too busy glaring at his brother. "What do you know about this guy? Trust me, I know more about him than you do."

"Oh?" Sesshoumaru asked reaching for Inuyasha's wrist and gripping it, forcing it to release Kagome's arm.

"He eats children!" Inuyasha proclaimed, grasping for something that might deter her. It was possible, he should have worked on a better reason when he was busy brooding earlier. "You can't let him inside!"

"Honestly, Inuyasha. Mind your own business. And stop saying such ridiculous things."

Sesshoumaru sighed with exaggeration. "I'm afraid it's true. But, whether or not I eat children is hardly the point." He kissed Kagome's temple and then stepped back. "However, I do have better things to do than deal with children. And clearly my estranged, half-brother has feelings for you. I've some meetings in the morning. I'll call you later, Kagome."

Inuyasha and Kagome both stood gaping at the retreating figure.

Kagome was processing the fact that the family Sesshoumaru had described was in fact her neighbor. And was then further confused by the ending of the date. Did that mean it was over? Would there be a second date? …And did he really eat children?

Meanwhile, Inuyasha blinked stupidly at the ice prince. Why would he let him win so easily? Surely he was plotting something further. Something sinister. Sesshoumaru never gave up.

"So, good night then," Kagome said unlocking her door.

"Uh, yeah, same to you." Inuyasha watched as she slipped into her apartment. It seemed he got what he wanted, but why did the victory feel so tainted?

**TBC**


	8. Sango

**The Hunt for the Perfect Man: Chapter 8 - Sango**

This is still a tag-team performance brought to you by **CharmedReality** and **BelleDayNight**.

_Disclaimer: We didn't create the characters. We just put them in compromising situations for our amusement._

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

It was half past insane in the morning and the coffee drinkers were already on their third cups of the day. They were a very reliable bunch. They were always waiting outside for the diner to open, they were always quick to set their empties to the far edge of the table lest they be forgotten for even an instant, and they never tipped more than fifty cents no matter how many refills they got. Their conversations consisted mostly of grunts and complaints about the weather even on clear, sunny days. With all the caffeine one might have thought they would be a bit more enthusiastic.

It was all in a day's work though. That's why part-time waitress and full-time college student, Kagome got paid the big bucks. Well, maybe not the big bucks, but a pocket full of change was heavy. That was something anyway.

Although that pocket might be a little lighter by the end of today's morning shift considering she just refilled one of the regular's coffee with the light maple syrup instead of the decaf. Accidents happen, but it was becoming a trend. She had already left her notepad on the griddle earlier, which meant she had to take everyone's orders again and treated everyone to a pyrotechnic show. The old man in the corner booth kept grabbing at his heart. He was just trying to tease her. Probably.

The problem with her performance could all be traced back to one little sentence spoken earlier in the week.

"_And clearly my estranged, half-brother has feelings for you."_

Sesshoumaru had certainly said a mouth full with that. What were the odds that she would end up on a date with her neighbor's half-brother? And how was it that those two were even related? Sesshoumaru seemed like the kind of man who could buy and sell entire islands with a quick text message and Inuyasha…well, he was Inuyasha.

He was the guy who borrowed milk when he wasn't really out of his. He was the guy who would shout at his video games and even threaten them when he wasn't winning. He was the guy who…had feelings for her?

"Miss? Miss? Excuuuuuuse me, miss?!"

"Hmm?" she was pulled out of her reverie by the customer and she could almost feel the tips getting lighter. "Oh, yes, I'm so sorry, what can I do for you sir?"

"I asked for wheat toast and you gave me a cinnamon roll," the man wearing a bit too much plaid for someone who was probably not a lumberjack said with barely restrained annoyance.

"Oh, well, I guess my sweet tooth is just showing through," she tried to joke. If he was amused, he hid it well. "I'll be right back with the toast."

As if the ending of her date with Sesshoumaru wasn't enough to have on her mind, there was also her next date to consider.

Kagome had brought in a change of clothes for the ending of her shift, so that she could rendezvous with Mr. Sango for lunch somewhere other than that particular diner of course. In light of her last few adventures, an afternoon date seemed like a good way to avoid any Inuyasha-shaped interlopers.

All she needed to do was get through the next hour and a half and then wait for her knight to ride up on his blue Yamaha FZ6.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Fifteen dollars and twelve cents later Kagome left the diner all-too eagerly. With every step her purse jingled. If she was smart, she'd have asked the manager to exchange the dimes, nickels, and quarters for dollars—but she was better than smart—she was resourceful! Perhaps she'd suggest hitting the arcades with Mr. Sango if things went well.

There were no big tests to study for this week and only one paper, which was practically finished regarding the medical condition known as transgender. It was a confusing topic, but fascinating given all the various schools of thought on the mechanism behind the disorder. Was it too much or too little testosterone circulating in the mother's womb at the fetus' stage of development where one of the gonads forms into the sex organs and the other disappears? But then, if that were the case, wouldn't that make such people hermaphrodites?

She groaned aloud and then pushed the topic to the back of her mind. There was no time for such ponderings. And frankly, she had no desire to work in the embryologic, psychiatric, or genetic fields. She just reached the designated meeting spot—a bench under a tree in a park only a few blocks from her work.

Kagome plopped herself onto the bench and waited. And waited. And waited some more.

She was just starting to become impatient when the whine of a motorcycle disturbed the quiet. The figure was hunched over the crotch-rocket and going at an incredible speed as if trying to make up for the fact he was ten minutes late by closing the last distance at the speed of light!

The rider shut down the engine and stared at Kagome for one-too-many heartbeats before removing his black helmet and releasing a long, black ponytail that hung down to…"his" shapely hips.

"You're Kagome?"

"Are you Sango?"

They both nodded slowly.

Kagome didn't want to seem rude, but, how did Mr. Sango become a Ms.? Should she say anything? Did this Sango know she was a girl? For now she'd just smile and nod, it usually worked in the past. Hopefully, it would work now.

"Shall we head off for lunch then?" Kagome asked brightly.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

"This is too good," Miroku said snickering while looking through binoculars at the scene. He elbowed Inuyasha. "You are a genius. Now, when do you enter the scene and shag them simultaneously? Or—since you're so shy—I'll be happy to play that role for you."

Inuyasha yanked the binoculars away from Miroku and then knocked him upside the head with them. "Shut it, you pervert."

"Why you calling me the pervert?" Miroku rubbed his fingers over the bruise forming on his skull. "You could give me a concussion with that non-sense. See if I help you plot in your evil ways." He grinned. "Seriously. Did you see that chick's t-shirt? It has a pair of handcuffs on the front and the back says, 'Mine are legal, not just for fun.' Seriously! I need her number when Kagome's done."

Inuyasha ignored him and decided to use the day's experience to remind himself why he and Miroku worked better communicating online and not in person.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Was there a question on one of those forms that she hadn't filled out correctly? She did remember writing something about being open to new experiences. This wasn't exactly what she had in mind.

"So, do you do this kind of thing often?" Began the other woman after yet another awkward silence.

"Oh, no, never. I mean, oh, the dating? Of course you do. What else would you mean?" She punctuated each sentence with nervous laughter. "Well, yes, there have been others—loooots of others. I mean, not that many! I'm not a freak or anything. Not that dating lot of people or different kinds of people makes you a freak, and wow, doesn't cherry pie sound good?" She was rambling more on this date than she had with Sesshoumaru.

Sango smiled at her unexpected date's monologue. "I think I might start with soup or a sandwich instead. We have physicals coming up at the police station, and I want to be in peak condition. It's bad enough I look like I'm 16. I need to outshine everyone if I don't want to be treated like I'm that young too."

"Oh no, you don't look like you're 16, not with a body like that," she said gesturing toward the other woman before quickly withdrawing her hand. "I didn't mean that you had a nice body!" She corrected quickly, before realizing that sounded even worse. "I mean, you do. You have an amazing body. I'd love to have your body!"

Kagome snapped her mouth shut. How was it possible that each statement was coming out worse than the last? And it was awful how she was leading on this poor woman who has probably been trying to connect with another like-minded woman and had to result to a dating service only to be set up with someone who wasn't interested. It just wasn't fair!

A warm blush took over Sango's cheeks as she listened to the odd and occasionally off-putting compliments. "Kagome, I think there is something I should be clear about." Taking a deep breath, the motorcycle-riding woman, charged forward. "I'm afraid you aren't exactly who I was expecting today."

"I'm not? …Is it the hips?"

"No, you have nice hips. I just prefer hips on men."

"You like men with big hips?"

"No, I mean, I like men."

"Oh," she replied mildly before realization set in. "OH! So do I! That's great. I was so afraid I was letting you down." Kagome laughed with amusement.

"That's such a relief. I thought the same thing!" Sango rubbed her chin with a pensive expression. "But that doesn't answer the question of how this happened. Did you put an option of wanting to make friends?"

Kagome scratched her head and tried to think back to when she first filled out the million-question survey when she joined the dating service. "I don't remember there being such an option. Did you?"

"No. But you know what? You're better than the losers I've been set up with so far. There was this one man whose breath was so bad you'd think it was some sort of noxious poison. And, oh, was he short!"

Kagome laughed—a much more at ease laugh than her nervous chuckles earlier—and tried to control what turned into a giggling fit when Sango gave her an annoyed look. But soon enough the stern officer joined in the laughter. Kagome wiped away a tear and tried to speak. "I had this one date that was amazing! The man was a knight in shining armor…and then his fiancée showed up."

"No!"

"Yes! Another date, he was a doctor, and this woman went into labor. After she covered me in her birthing fluid and blood he left with her on the way to the hospital stranding me at the theatre. My neighbor had to come and get me."

"Did you have any good dates? Or does that explain why you were trying again here?"

"The most fun date ended up being more interested in men than me. There was another man that seemed promising but he ended up being my neighbor's old college buddy and Inuyasha tagged along on our date and sabotaged it."

"Wait. Your neighbor?"

"Yeah, he's a total mooch. Always drinking my milk but at least he's there to pick up my UPS packages when I'm not home. But anyways, the best date was last week—he was a prince, literally! But, at the end it turned out he's actually related to my neighbor and then he just left after making the revelation and I've not heard since. So when I checked my email and it said I had another match—well, here I am."

"I see. It sounds like your neighbor is pretty involved in your life."

"He works at home and is always bored out of his mind. He used to volunteer teach at the local dojo but he's seemed to have slacked off on that so he can try to live vicariously through me which is pretty sad considering I'm just a medical student working part-time at a diner who goes on a lot of bad dates."

The waitress arrived with their meal. Sango accepted her dry ham and cheese sandwich while Kagome grinned widely at her chicken alfredo pasta dish.

Kagome twirled her noodles around her fork and lifted it before Sango's nose. "You sure you don't want some of these yummy carbohydrates?"

Sango wrinkled her nose. "Do you know how many miles I'd have to run to burn off the calories?"

"Seven?"

Sango smiled back kindly. "Well, not quite that many."

"Then it's a bargain!" She moved the temptation a little closer to the other girl who finally moved forward, boldly taking it into her mouth despite getting a few white drips of sauce on her chin.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

"So this is what love feels like," said a wistful Miroku as he watched the all-female couple from his hidden vantage point.

"No, that's what an erection feels like," came the response from his far less amused companion.

"Hush. Don't sully this beautiful, beautiful thing we are witnessing with your crass humor. Why don't you do something useful and get online to find out who designed this restaurant with such large, clear windows so I can send them a basket of thank you muffins."

"You should be sending me a basket of thank you muffins for having to put up with you. And you've been hogging the binoculars all night!" Inuyasha grabbed for them.

"I'm the one doing you the favor in case you've forgotten." He tried to keep his grip, but lamentably Inuyasha jerked them away in the end, which led to some understandable pouting.

The hacker was paying no attention to his co-worker as he adjusted the special zoom functions to hone in on Kagome. She was laughing at something Sango had said. The equipment was amazing. He could see details like the fine print on the menus at the next table. But he wasn't interested in the night's special. He kept his eyes trained on the dark haired girl. And he noticed that her nose had this funny way of crinkling up when she smiled like that.

"Come ooooon, Inuyasha! You're turn is over. Give them back!" Miroku tried to grab them back, but Inuyasha's elbow blocked him again and again. "FINE! If you won't give me the binoculars, then I'll just have to get closer."

"Whatever," he replied dismissively, still keeping watch. He ignored the other man as he walked away. In fact, he paid no attention at all until he reappeared in his line of sight, sliding into the booth next to Kagome and across from Sango.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

"It must be my lucky night to run into two such beautiful ladies. Kagome, it's been too long. Thank you so much for letting me join you both."

"Well, I didn't actually…"

Before Kagome could finish her sentence, Miroku reached out to scoop up the other woman's hand. "So, enough about me, tell me more about you."

"300, 40, 2," Sango replied smoothly.

"Well, I know those aren't your measurements, so what are we talking about?"

"I can bench press 300 pounds. I carry a .40 calibur gun. And it would only take me 2 seconds to break your hand if you don't move it."

Miroku laughed good-naturedly, tactfully removing his hand from danger. "Beautiful, strong, and funny. That's a deadly combination."

"I'm not that funny."

Kagome drank deeply of her diet coke as the other two quipped back and forth.

Sango gave Kagome a questioning look. "Who is this joker?"

"The date who ended up being my neighbor's old college buddy—Miroku." Kagome turned to the man sitting beside her. "What are you doing here?"

Miroku smiled disarmingly. "Just passing through, ladies. This joyous happenstance is a complete coincidence."

A throat cleared from behind them and the three turned to see Inuyasha standing with his arms crossed and a disapproving glare directed at Miroku before smiling quickly at Kagome and giving Sango a brief glance before focusing on Kagome. "Is this guy stalking you, Kagome?"

Kagome narrowed her eyes in suspicion. How was it that both Inuyasha and Miroku happened to be in the area? Was she being stalked? "No, Miroku just happened to be in the neighborhood. What are you doing here?"

Sango gave Inuyasha an appraising look and a slow smile spread across her lips. "Ah, you must be Inuyasha. Kagome's real stalker."

"I'm not a stalker," Inuyasha growled sitting beside her at the table.

The waitress came back. "Do you gentlemen want anything?"

"No, they're leaving," Sango said.

"What? Leaving? I'm so hungry!" Miroku turned to the waitress with imploring eyes. "Ma'am, may I have a glass of sweet tea, and then a club sandwich with extra bacon?"

"You can't order!" Inuyasha hissed.

"I just did."

"And you, sir?" the waitress asked Inuyasha.

He looked to Kagome.

"You might as well eat something. I'm pretty sure my cabinets are empty at home, and I know you're too lazy to shop for anything other than ramen noodles," she said taking a bite of her pasta.

"Could I have some of that pasta? It looks very good." Miroku smiled innocently at Kagome.

"Sure, I guess." Kagome started to twirl pasta on her fork when Inuyasha kicked Miroku's shin hard under the table. She lifted the fork up full of pasta and noticed Miroku's face had turned an unnatural shade of red. "You still want it?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm good. Thanks though."

"I've got to head to the gym and do some more training. I'll call you later, Kagome, okay?" Sango asked sliding out of the booth. "Unless you want to join me at the gym?"

Inuyasha started to laugh. "Kagome at the gym? Hah!"

Kagome put down her fork. "What do you mean by that? I go to the gym sometimes."

Inuyasha continued to laugh. "Yeah, to sign up for that kickboxing class that you never attended. And there was that yoga class where you went to one session. And let's not even start with the martial arts course you were all hyped on taking and then quit half-way through the first class."

"I sprained my ankle!"

"Come on, Kagome. Why don't you come with me to my kickboxing class then?" Sango invited. "You can use my helmet and I'll drive us over on my bike. I've an extra set of workout clothes you can borrow."

"I think I will." Kagome stood as well. "I've lost my appetite. Enjoy your lunch, boys."

Sango's soft-spoken statement was loud enough for both Inuyasha and Miroku to hear upon their exit. "He sure is one nosey neighbor. If you want I can help you get a restraining order. He fits the profile of a stalker."

Inuyasha kicked Miroku in the leg again. "Look what you did!"

"Me? You were the one listing all Kagome's failures in the athletic world. Even I know not to embarrass a girl about her previous short-fallings. And you do seem to have the qualities of a stalker."

"Oh shut up."

**TBC**


	9. Shippou

**The Hunt for the Perfect Man: Chapter 9 - Shippou**

This is still a tag-team performance brought to you by **CharmedReality** and **BelleDayNight**.

_Disclaimer: We didn't create the characters. We just put them in compromising situations for our amusement._

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Inuyasha spun a perfectly balanced plate on the end of his finger. "Try not to be too impressed. I know I'm amazing."

"You'd be more amazing if you practiced that with your own plates instead of risking mine," Kagome countered.

"No risk, no rewards."

"What kind of reward do you expect me to give you for taking up room in my apartment, endangering my dishes, and generally being a nuisance while I try to get ready for my date?" She tried on a jacket over her top and looked at herself in the mirror before taking it off again and trying a different one.

"Ugh, aren't those over yet?" He asked while trying his best to look disinterested at the spinning plate. "I thought you would have proven you were completely un-dateable by now."

The next sound was the shattering of a plate after Kagome tossed her shoe at Inuyasha's head. "Great, look what you did!" she shouted at him.

"What I did?!" Inuyasha scoffed. "You're the violent one!"

"You are the completely unreasonable, heartless one! If you didn't constantly mess up my dates then I'd probably be happily dating the same person more than once!" She accused.

"I haven't messed up your dates! Not most of them anyway… Besides, who do you think you'd be with? Kouga? Miroku? Sesshoumaru?" He spat out the last name with a little extra venom.

"Maybe. Sesshoumaru was a real gentleman."

"You just liked him because he was rich."

"That's not true! And if you think I'm so shallow then why are you hanging out here all the time?" The look she shot him could bore holes through solid metal.

He deflected her glare effortlessly. "Someone has to stop you from messing up your life. You aren't doing a very good job of it."

"Maybe you should go SIT in your own apartment!"

"Maybe I should. At least then I wouldn't have to watch you go from bad date to bad date!"

"I think maybe you are just jealous because no one wants to date you. And I'm going to keep on going on dates until I find Mr. Right."

Just then there was a knock on the door, which stopped the yelling for the moment. Kagome was still boiling as she stomped over to answer it, hesitating a moment to take a deep breath. She didn't want to frighten off the potential Mr. Right especially not in front of Inuyasha. She'd never hear the end of that.

Kagome was smiling as she pulled back the door to reveal a very, very short potential Mr. Right.

"Hey! I'm Shippou. You're hot!"

The man…boy had red hair, freckles and a carnation corsage ready for his date. He didn't even look old enough to be in high school yet. Maybe junior high.

Kagome could already hear Inuyasha laughing behind her, so she kept her head held high, well, not too high. She wanted to be able to see her "date."

"Thank you. We should be going." She reached down to take his hand, eager to lead him away from the ridicule that was sure to follow when her neighbor managed to catch his breath. "You know how to let yourself out, Inuyasha."

"Is that guy your Dad or something?" asked Shippou as the door shut behind them. "He's kind of ugly."

"No relation," Kagome assured him, giving his hand a quick squeeze. "So where are you parked?"

Shippou gave a nervous laugh, pulled his hand out of hers, and scratched the back of his head. "Actually, I hope you don't mind public transportation."

"You don't have a car?"

Shippou's hands went to his hips and his legs braced in a defensive stance. "Now, just because I want to do my part to save the environment by utilizing public transportation doesn't mean I can't drive a car if I wanted to."

'Right,' Kagome thought to herself. 'He probably isn't old enough to drive yet.' "I don't mind public transport. I actually have a free pass for it because I'm a student."

"Me too!" Shippou said with a big grin. He took her hand again and began to drag her off toward the bus stop a few blocks away. "I was thinking we could go to this stellar pool hall. They've got great booze and I hear there's a hot tub in the back." He nudged her ribs. "Could be fun!"

Kagome looked down at him with a raised eyebrow. "Seriously? How old are you really?"

"My license says I'm 21."

"And if I called my cop friend to check you out…" She let the threat remain open ended.

"Okay, fine," Shippou conceded. "I'm seventeen."

They reached the bus stop and Kagome just continued to look at him with disbelief.

Shippou dropped her hand and crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "Fine, I'm fourteen. But I'll be fifteen in three months. And, well, the dating service obviously thought we'd get along so I think you should give me a chance."

"Sure, if it wasn't illegal in all fifty states!"

Shippou's bottom lip quivered and it was then that the bus turned the corner. "Fine. You don't have to come. I understand. I'm just some stupid kid who doesn't know anything about anything."

Kagome placed her hand on his shoulder. "You seem like a sweet, young man, Shippou. You even thoughtfully brought a corsage."

"Oh yeah," Shippou said holding it out to her. "I guess you can still have it, if you don't think it's stupid."

"It is a thoughtful gesture," Kagome said slipping the flower over her wrist. "And while I don't see a romantic future for us, I can't let the ugly man back at my place know that things didn't go well. So, let's take the bus to the rail station and then ride uptown to Main Event. We can play laser tag and arcade games and bowl. I just need to warn you though. I'm awesome at DDR."

"Seriously?" Shippou broke out into a big, toothy grin. "Deal. It sounds fun, and besides, if I can do anything to upset that stick-in-the-mud that was nosing about your place it will be my pleasure."

Kagome and Shippou stepped onto the bus, showed their student IDs—Shippou's true ID from the local high school—and took a pair of seats. "I believe this is the start of a beautiful friendship," Kagome foretold.

"Ha! You won't be saying that when I cream you at DDR! I rule the dance floor!"

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Kagome couldn't stop laughing as she and Shippou walked back up the stairs to her apartment. Her young "date" was colorfully reenacting a scene that had taken place at the pizza restaurant inside the arcade.

After they had nearly worn themselves out on Dance, Dance Revolution, Kagome had asked if she could invite a friend of hers to join them. Shippou had no objections, so Kagome sent a quick text to Sango who arrived just fifteen minutes later since she lived nearby and had the evening off.

The strange part was the way Miroku just happened to stop by not long after that. Apparently, he just couldn't get enough Ms. Pac-man. That led to a debate about whether Ms. Pac-man was single as her title suggests or actually in a committed relationship with Pac-man himself, which might be considered a common-law marriage after so long.

Miroku was so amused with himself that he managed to snort soda out of his nose. That was funny enough on its own, but the best part was when he tried to act smooth about it. He leaned back in his chair and smiled right as he tipped over onto his back.

Ever since then Shippou had been mimicking the sound of Miroku falling and the squeal he made on impact. It made Kagome laugh more each time she heard it, especially now that she didn't have to worry about hurting Miroku's feelings.

Sango had needed to get to bed since she had an early shift tomorrow and Miroku offered to walk her home. The last thing Kagome heard from the two of them was Sango skeptically saying, "You're going to protect _me_?"

Back home, Kagome opened the door, pleased to see that her apartment seemed to be Inuyasha-free. She had been sure she would find him having a picnic on her nice area rug with all of the food from her fridge. Instead, the place looked just like she'd left it except the broken plate was missing. She stared for a moment at the place where the splintered shards should have been in shock that Inuyasha had actually cleaned. She had been positive she'd have to run after him with a broom tomorrow just to get him to do a half-assed job of picking up after himself…even if she had been the one to throw the shoe in the first place.

Shippou wasn't paying any attention to Kagome as he ran right past her and jumped on the couch. "Awesome! You have the Wii and the nunchaku controller and the sword! I'm going to wail on some zombies!"

Kagome smiled and turned back to her guest, picking up the crossbow attachment for her wii remote. It had always been her weapon of choice. "Let's un-undead them."

There was a knock on the door and with a deep breath to keep her cool Kagome went to see what Inuyasha wanted now. Because there was no doubt in her mind that the forceful rap upon her door was her ever-persistent neighbor. She looked through the peephole, and sure enough, one Inuyasha stood on the other side.

She opened the door a crack, leaving the chain in place. "What do you want now?"

"Can I come in?" Inuyasha asked with a friendly smile that looked extremely odd upon his normally annoyed features.

"I'm sure you can. I mean, you do have that ability after all."

His eyes narrowed ever so slightly before he quickly smoothed them out and smiled a bit wider. "Ha ha, Kagome. May I come in?"

"Is that the nosy neighbor?" Shippou called from the living room. "Let him in, I'd love to watch him lose. No one beats me at Resident Evil."

Inuyasha's eyebrow quirked at the sound of Shippou's voice, but otherwise he remained cool.

"Fine," Kagome said in a huff, sliding back the chain and opening the door. At least he knocked this time. That was better than usual. And there was the plate to consider…

"Did you guys have fun?" Inuyasha asked—no trace of the pesky neighbor from before.

"Yeah, until I got schooled in DDR," Kagome said with a laugh.

Inuyasha's eyes landed on the crossbow and sword attachments. "You don't use those for Resident Evil." He looked over at Kagome. "You have played haven't you?"

"Sure, zombies come after you with chainsaws and try to chop you to pieces and you shoot at them and hope to kill them…again…since they're technically already dead."

"Right, well the crossbow and sword are from Zelda." He scanned the list of Wii games on the shelf next to the television. "These are your brother's games aren't they?"

"What? You don't think I'd have my own system?"

"Hey man, that's cool. We can play Resident Evil with just the normal controllers. I'm easy," Shippou said, starting the game and shooting some zombies in the head onscreen with the bar-shaped controller.

Inuyasha cleared his throat. "It doesn't matter, the reason I came over here was---"

"Why do you keep coming over here, man?" Shippou interrupted. "You'd think you were Kagome's guard dog or something. Yesh, get a life."

Inuyasha's lips tightened and his cheeks began to turn a bit red—a sure sign of his temper. Kagome placed her hand gently on his shoulder and the tension in his muscles seemed to melt away. He turned toward her and attempted his smile again—it looked a bit forced.

"I just got Rockband for my PS3 and wanted to know if you'd like to play." He looked over at Shippou. "We could all play actually. It's for multiple players. Though it's better if there are four."

Shippou dropped the controller and gave Inuyasha his full attention. "You have Rockband?! No way!" He turned to Kagome. "We've got to play. It's the most fun game ever! Even better than zombies. You can be the singer since you're obviously pretty uncoordinated given your suckiness at DDR," he jokingly taunted with a cheeky grin.

"What?" Kagome shouted. "I am awesome at DDR. Let's go play then. What's the hardest part to play in the band?" she asked Inuyasha.

"The drums for sure," he said.

"That's true. The drums are wicked hard," Shippou agreed.

"Then I'll be playing the drums," Kagome proclaimed determinedly. How dare someone say she couldn't do something? She'd show them!

"We really need a fourth though." Shippou sent Inuyasha a suspicious look. "What would you have done if I'd not been here? Then it would have only been you and Kagome. You can't play Rockband right with only two people."

"I wouldn't have been suggesting videogames if that'd been the case," Inuyasha mumbled under his breath.

"Well, I don't know where we are going to get a fourth unless…maybe Sesshoumaru is free," she suggested, trying to hide a smirk. "He does have the distinctive features and good looks of a rock star. He'd probably be a natural."

Inuyasha's eyebrow twitched and if Kagome didn't know better she would have sworn she saw the beginnings of a snarl. "Three people are plenty! I'll get some sodas," he growled out as he stomped back to his apartment.

Kagome wasn't sure whether she should feel triumphant or regretful as she and Shippou hesitantly followed him.

"I want orange soda!" Shippou called out.

Inuyasha was banging things around in his kitchen much more loudly than one might expect for just grabbing a couple of drinks. "You'll both drink cola and like it!"

"Actually, it's getting late," Kagome said, watching her annoyed neighbor with concern. "Shippou, you should get home before your parents get worried."

"Awww, Kagome!" The boy whined, "I was going to teach this guy a lesson about being mean to girls."

"It'll have to wait, but thank you for the lovely time," she smiled sweetly at him as he puckered up for what seemed to be an exaggerated kiss. Holding back a giggle, she bent down slightly and kissed his cheek instead. "Be careful getting home. Text me to let me know you got there safely."

Shippou's face broke out into a wide smile. It was only a kiss on the cheek, but he was putting it down in the win column. He looked past the girl to the guy who was glaring in their direction and gave him a toothy grin of victory.

Inuyasha just rolled his eyes in return.

"Sure, sure, whatever, Kagome. Are you sure you are going to be okay with this meathead around?" Shippou asked.

"HEY!" Inuyasha barked.

Kagome smiled at both of them, hoping to make peace or at least keep things status quo until Shippou was on his way out. "I can take care of myself. Thank you, Shippou. Good night."

"Good night. Give me a call when you want me to school you on zombies!" And with that her young date took off toward the nearby bus stop.

Kagome watched him until he fell out of sight and then turned around to face Inuyasha. She gasped in surprise as she realized her neighbor had silently made his way next to her already. "You scared me," she scolded, as she lifted a hand to hit him in the shoulder, but he caught it before it made contact. Her eyes opened wider, but she didn't pull away as he held her wrist firmly, but not painfully, tight.

"What are—?" But he spoke over her before she could finish her question.

"It wasn't funny, Kagome. I don't want you seeing him again." His tone was calm and serious—two rarities for Inuyasha.

Confusion washed across her features. "Shippou? It isn't like—"

"You know who I mean," he interrupted again. "Sesshoumaru."

There was something like awe in her voice as she replied, "What business is it of yours?"

The dark-haired man moved closer and Kagome's breath caught in her throat. She could feel his warmth against her side and his hip brushed against hers. Her heart sounded louder than normal or maybe just more noticeably in the odd silence that was stretching out between them.

And then just as she could feel his breath fan against her cheek, he released her wrist and stepped back. "It's none of my business. Lock up when you leave, okay?"

"…Inuyasha?"

And for the second time that night, a man left Kagome's side. Only this time he left a very confused girl starring after him.

It wasn't until her cell phone beeped alerting her to a text about getting home safely from Shippou that she remembered to return to her apartment.

**TBC**


	10. Hiten

**The Hunt for the Perfect Man: Chapter 10 - Hiten**

This is still a tag-team performance brought to you by **CharmedReality** and **BelleDayNight**.

_Disclaimer: We didn't create the characters. We just put them in compromising situations for our amusement._

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

In an attempt to avoid Inuyasha on yet another date, especially after their last strange encounter, Kagome sat on a bench along a strip of little shops, restaurants, and bars waiting for the newest man to meet her. She was wearing a purple shirt with a white flower carefully situated in her long, dark hair. She felt a little silly, but her date needed some sure way of recognizing her among all these people. And sure enough, there were no other young women with flowers in their hair that she could see.

Flipping her pearlescent pink cell phone open, she read a text from Sango asking if he was there yet and quickly typed back, "not yet," complete with a frowning face emoticon.

Kagome had gotten much more proficient in the art of typing with her thumbs since meeting Sango on their "date." The two women had become fast friends even if Kagome didn't enjoy working out nearly as much as the police woman did. None of the men she had been set up with had worked out, but it seemed she had at least gotten one friend out of the deal. Two if you counted Shippou. He was like having another little brother.

This date was going to go differently with a little help from Sango. Kagome was going to keep her phone on and occasionally type details of her date to her waiting friend who would run a harmless, little background search. That way she could find out what was wrong with him early on so she could still enjoy the rest of her evening.

And, of course, if it turned out that nothing was wrong with him, she could just relax and have fun. It was the perfect plan.

"Kagome?"

She jerked a little upon hearing her name. She'd been so lost in her plotting that she hadn't even noticed when a very handsome man approached her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. You are Kagome Higarashi, aren't you? My name is Hiten. I believe I have the pleasure of your company tonight?" He flashed her a smile before continuing. "That or there are two girls wearing flowers in their hair tonight and one of you will have an interesting story to tell your friends."

"Yes, yes of course. Hi, Hiten." She stood up quickly, dropping her cell phone in her pocket for easy access later. "So, what do you do for a living?"

The man ran his fingers through his soft-looking hair and smiled sheepishly. "You like to get right down to it, don't you? I write for a magazine. Mostly little, local color pieces. Actually, I was thinking we could go to the subject of one of my favorite articles tonight. There is a little pool hall just down the strip. It has the best pizza in town. And you have to try the macaroni and cheese pizza. I know, I know, it sounds crazy, but trust me, one bite and you'll be hooked." He offered his arm for her to take as they walked.

"Well, I do love pizza and macaroni and cheese, so I guess it won't hurt to try it. So, have you ever been married?"

He laughed a little at her abruptness. "No, not that I recall. You?"

"Me? No, of course not. What about kids?"

"Kids? Well, they are nice I guess. I was really hoping to shoot a game of pool before starting a family though."

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

Hiten held the door open for Kagome when they reached Pete's Pizza & Pool Hall.

Kagome giggled. "I guess Pete's a pretty blunt guy, huh?"

Hiten frowned. "I guess."

"I mean, he named his establishment pizza and pool. Not too creative. It's got pizza and it's got pool. Very to the point. You get it?"

"Yeah, I get it," Hiten said flatly, running his fingers through his long hair again. It was his tell for whenever something was making him uneasy. Luckily, Kagome was no poker player or she might have picked up on it.

However, she wasn't exactly missing the fact that the joviality had left Hiten's voice. She swallowed hard as she tried to think of a way to salvage things. The date was already feeling awkward and it was all her fault so far. Hiten seemed like he might be a cool guy despite the odds, and she really didn't want to screw up any more potentials. Especially since she hadn't heard anything from Sesshoumaru after she'd thought that date had gone so well if you discounted the abrupt ending.

"Have you ever played pool before?" Hiten asked, pulling off two pool sticks from the wall by an unoccupied pool table.

"Just a time or two growing up. One of my good friends had a table at her house and we'd knock the balls around sometimes."

Hiten narrowed his eyes while handing one of the sticks to her. "Pool is not something to play around with. It's a complicated sport involving the utilization of angles and geometric patterns." His stern face broke into a smile when Kagome looked properly admonished. "Sorry, don't take me too seriously. I played pool professionally for a couple of years in college. It paid the tuition, so I respect the sport."

"Understandable. So, are we going to play and then eat pizza?"

"Hungry?" Hiten asked with a grin. "Don't worry. The waitress will stroll our way and take care of us."

"Do you come here often?"

"And the interrogation continues. If you want to know if everybody knows my name—pretty much, but it isn't like they yell it when I walk through the door." He set up the colored balls within the triangle in the center of the pool table. "Would you like to break some balls other than mine now?"

Kagome laughed a little awkwardly. "Sure," she said, applying a bit of chalk to the end of her cue. She wasn't really sure what good the chalk was, but people always looked so cool doing it—kind of like smoking but without the disastrous side effects.

She glanced up at Hiten as she walked over to line up her first shot. He was funny, handsome, and kind of charming under the circumstances. He had every right to be a little on guard with her, but that didn't make him innocent! There had to be something wrong with this guy. There was always _something_ wrong with them!

She needed to figure it out soon, because there was a scheduled emergency call coming. She had seen it on television dozens of times. You just have a friend call during your date. If everything is going great, you quickly let them know you are too busy to talk. If things aren't going well, then you feign shock at whatever horrible news you are getting.

She had already planned her news would be that her grandfather had collapsed and he was being taken to the hospital. She felt bad about using him in that way, but it was his fault that she had taken on all these awful dates anyway. If her family could have stayed out of her lack of a love life, then she wouldn't have needed to turn to a computer dating service to fix her up over and over and over again.

There was a loud crack as Kagome sent the cue ball racing at the colorful balls sitting in formation. They scattered randomly across the table, but as luck and not skill, would have it, she did sink a solid, green ball in the side pocket.

"Very nice," he complimented with a smile. He would have had more control over the table, but things had shaken themselves out nicely on their own.

"Beginner's luck," she answered more humbly than she felt. She moved her way down the table for her second shot, when she felt her phone vibrate. She hurriedly snatched it up, completely ignoring the pool table and her date to read the text from Sango.

Kagome looked disappointed as the police woman revealed Hiten had no prior record on file. Apparently, it wasn't going to be that easy to find out what was wrong with him.

"I hope I'm not keeping you from more interesting people," Hiten prodded, only half teasing.

"Hmm? Oh! This?" She lifted up the phone and laughed like it was some kind of inside joke they were both in on. "Sorry! Putting it away now." She slipped it back into her pocket where it would be close at hand for the emergency call coming up.

It seemed she was going to have to figure out what was wrong with him the hard way after all. Applying a second coat of chalk to the cue, she smiled over at Hiten. "So, have you ever been with a man?"

There was an audible crack as Hiten just snapped the pool stick in his hand in half. "Excuse me?"

"You know, as in been intimate?"

Hiten narrowed his eyes. "I know what you meant. I want to know why you're asking such a thing."

Kagome shrugged. "If you don't want to answer that's fine. I was just curious. People do that now-a-days." She lined up her cue and took a shot, knocking the white ball into the pocket. "Um. I am solids right? So that counts?"

"No. It doesn't count as one of the solids. The white ball going into the pocket is called a scratch. And you're supposed to call your shot too." Hiten grabbed a new pool stick and chalked the end before setting up. "Striped seven in the right corner pocket." He aimed and sank the ball into the pocket before looking over at Kagome. "If that text was an old boyfriend of yours that wanted to have a threesome I don't swing that way."

"I'll have you know that wasn't a boy that texted me. It was my friend—who is a girl."

"In that case, I might be willing to listen to the proposition." Hiten grinned at her before he aimed for his next target. "Three into the side pocket." He sank that ball into his goal.

"I can't believe you said that!"

"Why not? You're the one that brought up the subject." He aimed for the next ball, but stood up abruptly. "Hey, Samantha!"

A busty, redheaded waitress strutted over toward them with a tray of drinks. "Hiten, babe. Good to see you here." She glanced over at Kagome briefly. "Brought a friend, eh?"

"Yeah, blind date," Hiten answered.

"Oh, honey," Samantha said turning toward Kagome. "You should have one of those seeing eye dogs then. But I'll tell you, my Hiten is a total hunk-a-doodle-do if you know what I mean."

Hiten cleared his throat, bringing Samantha's attention back to him. "She's not blind. It's a blind date. I used that online dating service thing."

Samantha inched over toward Hiten and whispered loudly in his ear. "Oh, honey, she could be crazy. You got to be careful about these things."

"Tell me about it," Hiten muttered. "What kind of pizza would you like, Kagome?" He wasn't sure she was really up for the adventurous pizza he'd suggested earlier.

Kagome bit her bottom lip. She was screwing up so bad tonight. Her mind raced to what Inuyasha would like. Surely, Hiten had similar taste. They were both so good at making her feel awkward. "Do you like the meat-lover's pizza?"

Hiten rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. "I'm a vegetarian. So, let's just try the macaroni and cheese pizza with extra cheese. Does that work for you?"

Kagome smiled, wanting to be agreeable. "Sure, that sounds great." She'd have to text Sango to bring her some lactose intolerant pills. She could handle some cheese, but extra cheesy? She didn't need a bad case of irritable bowel on top of everything else that was going on that night.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

She'd been over every detail—the way he walked, talked, ate, laughed, and played pool. He didn't seem to be an alcoholic, drug addict, sex addict, gambler, jerk, or idiot. He wasn't married, broke, lazy, or gay.

She couldn't find a thing wrong with him even after an exhaustive search. And on top of all that, he was cute and fun. At least he would be fun now that she was done looking for what was wrong and ready to enjoy what was right.

Kagome gave her hair a little flip over her shoulder. That had always impressed the boys in high school, but Hiten was staring disinterestedly at his third slice of pizza. She decided to apply a little lip gloss. She'd read in one of those fashion magazines at the dentist's office that drawing attention to your lips was a good way of getting a guy to notice you.

Unfortunately, the author had clearly not met Hiten.

At this rate the date needed CPR. And if her breathing into his mouth didn't get his attention then pounding his chest certainly would. She giggled at her own unspoken joke, which actually did get a response from the boy as he lifted a quizzical eyebrow in her general direction.

Any opening was a good one. She parted her lips to speak, but the sound that emerged was from her stomach as it groaned. Sango had to go into the office, so she wasn't able to drop off the pills. Kagome just hoped one slice wouldn't do any damage. Luckily, it was just a little groan—embarrassing, but not the end of the world or of the date!

Grinning like a fool, Kagome was about to make a weak joke when she was saved by the bell, or the ring to be exact. "Oh, sorry. Let me just tell whoever that is that I'm on a date."

Hiten just nodded in return and his eyes flickered to the clock as he wondered what the shortest, polite amount of time to wait before excusing himself would be.

"Kagome, hi," came Sango's voice through the phone. "Sorry I couldn't stop by before. Anyway, this is your emergency call. So, act horrified if you want out. If not I'll talk to you tomorrow. It looks like I'm going to have to cover the rest of this shift."

"Oh, things couldn't be better, but I can't talk now. I'm on a date. Bye." Kagome measured her words so that they would work for both audiences.

She flipped the phone closed and let it fall into the deep recesses of her purse. She wouldn't be needing it again tonight!

"So, where were we?" But as her eyes turned back to Hiten she noticed he had just picked up his phone, which was strange because she didn't remember hearing it ring.

"Is he okay?" Hiten asked into the phone. "Oh, no, I'll be right there, don't worry!" He too flipped his phone closed as he sprang to his feet. "Emergency," he said vaguely. "I've got to go. Feel free to take the rest of the pizza though." He was already backing up toward the door.

**-ooo-oooooo-ooo-**

The only positive thing about the evening was that she wasn't stuck with the bill after Hiten's hasty retreat. Samantha had given her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and informed her that she'd put it all on his tab. Whether the waitress did this because Hiten was a gentleman and wouldn't have stuck her with the bill or because Samantha felt some sympathetic girl-power it didn't matter.

What mattered to Kagome was that her stomach was very upset with her. It was a long walk home. And most importantly she didn't have enough money for a taxi, Sango was busy, the buses stopped coming by a half-hour ago, and she was in no way going to call her pesky neighbor. Carrying a large, hot, greasy box of pizza wasn't making the walk any more pleasant either.

So lost in trying to decipher exactly where the date went wrong, she was almost whacked in the head by the convenience store's door as she walked in front of it.

"Jeez, Kagome, watch where you're going," Inuyasha muttered trying to balance a large paper bag.

"Inuyasha? What are you doing here?"

"Emergency run. I'm working an all-nighter and needed chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and Mountain Dew to get me through my project."

Kagome's stomach made another loud groan and she started to walk past him, intent on getting home. "Please, don't mention dairy products right now or ever."

Inuyasha fell in step beside her and a look of concern flashed over his face. "Are you sick? I thought you were supposed to be on another date."

"I was, but he had an 'emergency,' and had to leave early," she explained using finger quotes. "Now I just want to get home."

"My bike is around the corner if you'd like a ride."

Kagome's stomach made another loud protest. "I'm nauseated just thinking about being on your motorcycle."

"I could get a cab for us."

"Don't trouble yourself. The economy's bad enough I can walk a few minutes."

"Then I'll walk with you." He reached out to take the pizza box from her to lighten her load.

"Won't you have to come back for your bike?" Kagome asked, looking over at him, surprised by his persistence. She almost protested that she could carry the box, but her stomach objected, so she remained silent.

Inuyasha shrugged. "I've been cooped up inside all day. I wasn't able to practice at the dojo, and I need some cardio. At least walking with you is more exciting than Wii Fit."

"Whatever," Kagome said picking up the pace. She needed to get home before her stomach did anything more embarrassing. The site of their respective homes couldn't have come sooner as her stomach had begun to churn at a progressively more rapid rate.

Kagome didn't even bother saying goodbye as she hurriedly jabbed her key into the lock and rushed inside directly towards the restroom and slammed the door leaving the front door wide open in her rush.

Inuyasha sighed as he gently closed the door behind him. He walked toward the kitchen bar and set down his paper bag. He had lied earlier about the contents of the bag. Reaching inside it he pulled out a bottle of Pepto-Bismol and set it on the counter before going back to his own place after securely locking Kagome's door as he left.

He did, however, keep the leftover pizza. Everyone would be better off for it.

**TBC**


End file.
